Today I saw this post from Jamar Camper, and felt called to share this eloquent writing with the world.
Spiritual meeting of the minds
Some of you dudes are really taking things out of context. My inbox tells me. Our understanding of attraction varies on our experiences and our responses to said experiences. When we first meet a human being man to woman we don’t know this MF. We don’t know their values, their perspectives, their mannerisms, their beliefs and opinions on important issues. So we have to use wisdom to distinguish if they are worth our time, energy, and yes money. I never said go spend crazy on women just cause they’re women. That’s stupid and foolish.
But what is equally foolish is to waste life chasing convenient ass that doesn’t respect you at all and brag about how you didn’t spend that much money. Over time it’s draining. Modern dudes love to brag about how they don’t spend money on women without realizing they do the very thing they love to brag about ALL THE TIME. If you really think about all the energy we put into chasing random tail you would have to admit we were foolish.
“All the consecutive weekends paying top dollar to get to the popular clubs, all the ego moments in clubs when we would overboard “buy the bar” with nothing tangible to really celebrate, the gas money to drive far to a girl’s house just to not get any, the flexing just to show we got it.”
Damn muscle over extended bruh about to pop lol. It’s fun to do that stuff but keep in moderation. The better way would be to put all that energy into you, your purpose, and your life experience. Build yourself to be a high value man. Optimize your gifts over vagina. I hate to quote the bible while discussing such topic. But Proverbs says “Your gift will make room for you and bring you before great men”. I believe it will bring you to great women as well. Gifted and wonderful women that will respect you and want to enhance you as you do them. I don’t want the ass, I want the respect. The sex is secondary. Highly prioritize women that respect manhood to have better dating/life experiences.
We are programmed to care about convenience over own self respect as men. We are programmed to value a phat ass over our own future. We are indirectly taught to disrespect ourselves and therefore the women respond accordingly. This ecosystem currently is designed for your self esteem to be built like a house of cards. Modern men will go through all kind of loops and hardships just to get the sex and will really think they won just because they got sex. That sex meant nothing to her. Husbands get disrespected in public all the time and just be looking stupid grinning about it.
This current imbalanced environment we are in flourishes off men not being respected.
The government loves it. More tax revenue for them. The divorce rate is 50 to 60% you really think the government care about functioning healthy families? “You don’t need a man for anything nowadays sis”. The prideful spirit of today. You think they care that 43% of black women have never been married? No…they need those black women working overboard. Work that horse into the ground.
If all the black men quit their jobs today, they would kinda care. But if all black women working quit their jobs at once it would be a national emergency. No I’m not saying that black women are the total production of the economy. All people working contribute their value. The work itself is not the issue it’s the constant corporate overboard/pressure of work and the chemical imbalance of stress it brings to households and relationships.
In closing, it’s better to take your time build yourself up and take pride being a dominant figure. Keep women in feminine energy to have a better life experience. Take losses like a boss. Have an abundance mindset. Trying to justify every dollar spent tit for tat with a woman (50/50 mindset) is foolish over time. Blessings.
The world is blessed when men of abundance lead the way. Thank You Jamar.
If you would like to follow Jamar on Facebook, click here.
KISSY’S NOTES:
What really resonates with me is his wisdom in seeing how some men feel like the prize was having sex with a woman. If that’s all he came to get, a woman won’t see him as any brighter than he feels she is for giving it to him.
MEN: Please pay your woman’s bills, AND teach her how to start her own business.
Please stop wasting her time and your time by being a 50/50 man. Such a man causes a high value woman GREAT CONFUSION. She can’t keep a solid good feeling about you, because you don’t do enough to SECURE her heart. Often-times she really loves you, but her soul can’t settle. God called her to be a Queen, and when you treat her like less, she has to let go and live in her truth. If you think your money is more valuable than her, then….
When you think about all of the years you’ve spent cooking, cleaning, having sex and giving blowjobs to a 50/50 man, you can’t help but think about how much of your time and youth has been wasted.
That’s because that is not how Queens roll.
Not only was your time and youth wasted, but you walk away from those men with a negative perception of men.
WHY IS THAT?
It’s because you dealt with men who didn’t have it in their heart to prosper you. It’s because you met men who didn’t value your femininity.
Lately I hear so many women say “I want to be adored, not respected.”
Which is another something that I don’t subscribe to.
I don’t subscribe to limiting beliefs that makes people think they can only have one thing.
Some men will definitely respect a boss chick who brings her half to the table.
Some women say they bring nothing to the table, because they expect a man to provide the table.
To each it’s own. However I won’t run with any of those quotes. I am a real life Goddess. I am the table and I will mate with a male table. His table will be grand and opulent, because my table is grand and opulent. If his table is bigger than mine and I get to play on mine and put whatever cute stuff and sparkles on mine that I want, because he’s got me, that’s also AWESOME.
Regardless, I am a movement all by myself. To pretend that I am not the table would be a disjustice to who God called me to be.
I am not like most feminine women who can only help women. I am a Goddess that is empowered to heal both men and women. Therefore I must live in my own truth.
I love me some Beyonce, but even Bey can’t do it like me. Bey is a Goddess in her own lane. She’s the best performer in the world. I am one of the greatest healers in the world.
See that’s another thing about women. You must understand that we each have our own lane. No one is greater than you, when you walk in your own gift. God equipped you with something only YOU can do.
If I tried to sing and compare myself to Bey’s singing, I would lose every time.
Now someone would be quick to tell me “You ain’t no Beyonce.” And you know what? I would agree. I am KISSY.
Because I am KISSY DENISE, the truth is a man who needs me for half, is a waste of my time. WHY? Because he’s not powerful enough to keep me. I’ll run circles around him. Which is unfair to him, because my soul is called to mate with a GOD KING.
Women are selfish when you don’t live in your beautiful truths. You hurt men when you deny your own soul. No man wants a woman trying to drag him to the top with her. A man has to want to be there already.
A Goddess needs a man with a table that she can multiply through divine insight. She doesn’t need to touch his table at all. He can provide for her off the table, but it’s not like he’s doing it alone, if he’s open to understanding Goddess powers and applying insight from her.
Women are always trying to fit into a box or a quote that someone else says.
But, let’s talk about FACTS instead.
Cooking, cleaning and giving blowjobs to a man who doesn’t provide, is not what Queens do.
That’s what non queens do. They let 50/50 men use them up. They use them up until they have enough money to be an actual KING, then they go get a QUEEN who will only deal with a man who provides for her. He becomes so proud to finally be able to afford a VALUABLE woman.
A true Queen has a man called a KING, with an abundant empire that provides for her. He has a PURPOSE and reigns over the people with just competence. The Queen sits next to him as his grand counsel.
Meanwhile, this is what most 50/50 men do to most women.
Every time you try to rise, he knocks you back down and robs you of your youth and energy. But here is the thing. Every woman wants to call herself a Queen, without doing the work. Everyone wants to call themselves everything without doing the work.
But once you claim a title, it’s time to do the work.
How many women call themselves a Goddess with no beauty in sight? That’s when someone has self-appointed themselves. Because if that’s who God wanted you to be on this earth, he would’ve blessed you with great beauty that is both inner and outer. You can’t be a Goddess without doing both INNER and OUTER work. Without the inner work, you won’t be able to handle the pressure that comes with the crown.
Like Marilyn Monroe, who was the greatest of them all.
No real woman even wants to call herself a Goddess. The title is usually accepted only after many attempts to fight it.
That’s what women do. We try to fight the GOOD things that God has in store for us, and instead do our own thing. But we’ll quickly listen to the negative b.s. someone says about us.
However, what God has in store for us is always bigger, better and far greater than anything we could’ve ever imagined.
I am also a Prophetess. I had a hard time accepting that title too. Because then once you get a title, you almost feel like you HAVE to prove it to others. Yet, when you stop trying, you’ll notice you simply are. Gifts are gifts. You either have the gift or you don’t.
The gift that each human has is the ability to choose wisely and make grand decisions.
If God placed it in your heart that you are a Queen, you do yourself a great dis-service by mating with men who don’t treat you as such.
NO, it’s not okay to be with a man who doesn’t provide for you, if that’s not what your soul wants.
All that looking at a man negative, always seeing his faults are all reflections of you FAILING to decide to get the man you want. You look at him negative, because you ALLOWED him into your world, without him showing up as the KING you need.
You made excuses for why he couldn’t…. You looked at him as the little boy that couldn’t, instead of seeing the KING in him, and believing that he could rise NOW. You took sympathy on him, and focused on his POTENTIAL. And it backfired.
Why do you do this? Because you listen to society. You’re afraid of what they think of you. They constantly tell you that you need to settle for LESS. Because who are you to go after your dreams and goals they say.
But because you truly CAN’T settle for less, you instead try to build him into the man you want. You try to change him, instead of ALLOWING him to be inspired to BECOME the man you want. He will become the man you want, because it’s who GOD created him to be. He has to want to become that image of himself. You simply inspire him to do it.
Do you see how she SITS and cheers for him. She didn’t have to use her hands to get him to rise. She didn’t tell him to rise. She looked up, and there he was RISING.
When you listen to society you’ll never find true happiness. You get to the point where you don’t even know how to attract a high value man. You don’t know how to scale your business up to 7 Figures. You don’t know how to attract lots of aligned friends. You get to the point where you lack clarity and have so many doubts about yourself.
WHY?
All because you made that one decision in relationships to settle for less. Then it started to impact your entire life, because you woke up dealing with a man who didn’t value you. Then you started to value yourself less.
And to fix that value, you went to work, to WORK HARD.
Unhealed women are some of the most insane women in the world. The trauma runs so deep that you’re asleep in it.
Only a healer can pull all of that pain and darkness up off of you. Only a healer can help you see it through.
But what do most do? They go off to FIGURE it out, by themselves.
WHY?
Because you also were taught by 50/50 men to be uncomfortable asking for help or receiving help. They programmed you to continue to do everything on your own. Which is why you ended up with a man that you don’t need in the first place.
Do you even know how it feels to have a man that you actually feel like you need?
Nope, you don’t. Is that even possible or natural for you?
It’s not for even most married women, because they simply married a man who went along with the program. They don’t share a deep soul connection that bonds them.
Light & Love often teaches detachment and disconnection, because it’s just a higher level of experiencing non-sacred love.
Sacred love isn’t a FEELING of needing a man. It’s a KNOWING that you both need one another. No matter how much you fight it, the connection will not leave. And when you finally stop fighting it and surrender you learn to melt and embrace your differences.
Your soul needs them because you are assigned a divine mission together. It goes beyond FEELINGS.
But guess how much healing you need to get to the point?
LOTS!
That’s why you have to tell yourself the truth about who you are. Memes and quotes are cute, but your life isn’t a MEME Sis. It’s a real life design of your choice.
You designed it before you came to earth. You can’t live the next woman’s life. You can’t take advice from non Kings.
Cause guess what all of my King friends tell me?
They say “Kissy you deserve a God King who will provide for you and fully love you.” They say “Kissy you deserve to have it all.”
Guess what men who aren’t on their purpose tell me?
They tell me that I need to come off my high horse and settle for less.
But it’s not for me to climb down off my high horse. It’s up to a man to RISE and show me why I need him in my life.
Listening to society throws women so far off track. Like who has a problem with you BEING a Queen when you are one?
No one. They ACCEPT you when you accept yourself and claim your rightful position.
You see here is the thing. You need women like me in your life. Subscribe to UNICORN UNIVERSITY TRIBE to stay in this badd azz, high vibe azz, spiritual AF, Boss Chick energy.
It’s time for you to get rid of the EGO, that has you doing sh*t backwards.
I don’t actually call anyone TOXIC in my life. I have a deep understanding that what you see in others tends to be a reflection of something you see in yourself.
So, here is THE TRUTH:
You’re not disappointed in him. You’re disappointed in yourself, because you keep believing in him, while he disappoints you time and time again.
That man has never showed up for you Sis. All he ever did was do 1 THING that got you to like him. He never went past that mark. He’s been dangling a carrot in your face, leading you on and you’ve been accepting it.
Then each time you know you need to cut him off, you complain, and he tells you not to complain about him. You can’t get through to him, but he says it’s all you, and IT IS.
So you breathe, reset, and put on your positive mindset again…. and once again, focus on the good in him, just to be disappointed again; while he tells you how you’re not good enough, and that YOU need to be a better woman.
He tells you that you need to work harder. He pushes the slave ship…. Not to mention there is WAY more of you, standing in line, waiting to be his peace; telling him how good of a man he is, although he’s actually not being a good MAN to anyone.
There’s lots of PICK ME and EFFORT girls like you in the world, who keep 50/50 men sitting on a pedestal, using up women, until his dream woman finally shows up.
The insanity of it all, of how YOU unconsciously have tried to get this man to value you.
You Can’t Force A Man To Value You is deeper than just a book title. Which is why you have to read the book.
So many women think that by being patient, being a good woman, being kind, saying kind words, buying gifts, cooking, doing laundry, keeping the house clean, encouraging a man, and speaking life into him, will someday magically cause a man to wake up and value her.
It truly doesn’t go like that. A man simply values what he values. He values what he loves.
When a man first approaches you, he values you. That value is going to increase or decrease, depending on how you ALLOW him to treat you and how much YOU VALUE YOURSELF.
Have sex with a man who is not paying your bills, and Sis you are dooming yourself, 97% of the time. You have just set up the framework for the relationship to be a waste of BOTH of your time. Yes, he is going to pressure you into sex. That doesn’t mean you should give it to him.
Now he’s like “What else do you have to offer? You don’t do anything for me. Other women love having sex with me too.”
He now takes a lot of pride in draining ALL OF YOU, for your energy, and telling his friends how ALL OF YOU suck, and how NONE OF YOU are good enough. NONE of his friends are going to direct traffic back to him, to help him see his part in the equation.
And at the end of it all, you know what he’s going to tell you.
The infamous words of the traumatized, wounded, immature man: “You don’t even know me. I don’t owe you anything.”
And we can blame men all day for this. But Sis, YOU are the one to blame.
LISTEN BELOW TO THIS PODCAST that real estate and investment mogul, Robert Duvale Yancy & I did, for some reality shattering truths about relationships.
This is Part 1 of a 5 part Series called “You Can’t Force A Man To Value You.“
Here is part 1 : 50/50 Men Are Toxic
I am so excited about this series that breaks down your belief system. If you’re on your laptop, please leave some comments on Youtube. We need positive energy to keep this going. This is going to get better and better.
Some men aren’t the best men. They are not perfect, whole and complete inside the vibration of being a King, where God created him to be.
Because they aren’t good men, they tend to blame everything on the women they date. They say she didn’t do this, and she didn’t do that. But he will tell you that he paid her bills. So you will be like “Aaaawe. You poor baby. Screw that trifling b*tch. She didn’t appreciate you.”
What he’s not telling you is that he’s an azzhole, he’s not a gentleman, he’s uncharming AF, he doesn’t know how to make love to a woman, he’s a liar, he doesn’t know how to make a woman feel like a Queen, and being around him feels cold AF. I mean cold. Like a woman is unable to emotionally connect to him. In a way the relationship feels abusive to her. So she seeks out the companionship of another man. He has no idea why. In his mind he’s doing everything right. Sometimes these men even have dating coaches who tell them how to act like a wanna be alpha male that alpha females don’t like.
In essence, he wants to be a good man, and believes he is. He simply doesn’t know how to be one. You know why? Here is another problem he has. He doesn’t listen. The woman complained and he didn’t listen. Or he told her she was negative if she complained, so she learned not to complained to him and simply complained to another man who stuck some good d*ck in her and made her feel like a Queen.
So now he’s out in the world asking what women bring to the table. And all he has to offer is d*ck that doesn’t last, with a tired stroke, and paying a few bills that are mostly his, because she lives with him and he would’ve had to pay those bills anyway.
In a way he is also selfish and tends to say “This is my stuff. You’re in my house, using up my cable, my electricity,” and blah, blah, blah. Obviously this would make a woman feel terrible and unsafe with him. She will take it for a while, until once again, another man comes along.
Meanwhile other men are healed and have a full understanding that a woman is the table. She is the reward for his success. Her presence multiplies his joy, pleasure and abundance. She is his peace.
