What does true humility look like in a relationship with a man?

by | Love & Relationships

Successful men and men in general are oftentimes so full of themselves. They expect women to bow down for no other reason than the fact that they are a man.

I used to get really annoyed when a man told me to be humble. I didn’t like it one bit.  I never tell anyone to humble themselves. I don’t see a reason why they should. Plus I learned long ago to not listen to the negative things people say about you or the limitations they try to place on you, and instead listen to the greatness that God instilled in you.

Humility in God

Usually when I was told to practice more humility, it was a man who didn’t dress as nice as me, or didn’t have as much money as me, or didn’t look as good as me.    It never came from a man who deeply honored me. So I ignored the advice thinking they didn’t know what they were talking about.

As you can see I looked for ways to diminish the person’s advice based on them somehow being less than me. 

God forgive me, for I have sinned. 🙏  That’s NOT love.

Then one day out of the blue, shortly AFTER reading the bible, God showed me what truly humility is in a man’s eyes.

Sometimes someone tells you something and maybe they don’t say it in a way that you can understand at the time. But that doesn’t mean that they aren’t right.

One of the biggest relationship healers is giving up your need to be right. It’s also one of the biggest WEALTH/ABUNDANCE healers.

When our desire is to be right, we tend not to listen to the other person.

When you give up your need to be right you allow in love, money and miracles.

To give up your need to be right, first, you must become conscious of when you feel that desire to make someone or something wrong.

According to the Dream Maker blog:

Always Being Right Is Nothing But Perception

Life as we know it is not black and white. It’s never a question of who is right or who is wrong, but what is right and what is wrong. Believing that your own way is the right way is just a perception that enslaves your mind.

Having an underlying need to be right comes from underlying fears and insecurities.

The problem is you’re open to being told you’re wrong. But in some areas, you can be subconsciously rigid.

But back to what I was saying earlier. It was the men who didn’t treat me well who told me to humble myself.  The ones who treated me well thought I should be even more confident.

Humility vs Confidence

According to Scott Young that means:

Confidence would come from focusing on the positive things you already know. In contrast, humility isn’t focusing on the negative information as it is focused on the overwhelming amount of information you don’t know.

They were all right.  They were also the wrong man for me. I THOUGHT I was being humble by dealing with them in the first place. That is why you can’t date men who aren’t on your level.  Level meaning the spiritual level you are called to thrive on. Some men can see that you are a Goddess and other men are unable to… Probably cause they think they are doing YOU a favor by dealing with you. (see how that thought backfires on everyone?)

I used to talk sooooooooo much sh*t…. But then God always pops up to humble me in spirit. For that I have so much gratitude and gave up talking ish.

I always say there are levels to everything. Baby there is another level to HUMILITY too. I was right about humbling myself to God. But how many people put their worries in God’s hand and avoid trying to solve all of their problem’s on their own?

Chances are, that doesn’t feel humble to a tapped in soul. It feels weak. Or even more perhaps you feel like God has more important people/problems to tend to and you don’t wanna bother him with your lil problems….

Scott suggests the following to practice more humility: 

How to Use Humility

The amount you don’t know is far larger than the amount you do. Humility utilizes that space by acknowledging it exists. Here are some ways you can apply humility to improve:

  1. People. Everyone is better than me in some way. More importantly, everyone has something to teach me if I look closely enough. Although I write fairly opinionated articles here, I focus on being more observant in my offline interactions.
  2. Projects. Every project I start has a million uncertainties. Instead of assuming a rigid plan, I leave flexibility to allow new opportunities to come in. Although I have longer term plans for this website, I’m also open to new possibilities.
  3. Passions. When I wrote this article, What Do You Want to Do With Your Life, I was basically advocating taking a more humble stance towards your life directions. Be open to everything and get curious rather than confident.
  4. Productivity. It requires humility to admit you’ve been doing things wrong all along. My traffic tripled in a short period after I made changes to how I wrote articles. That couldn’t of happened if I was too sure of my own methods to change.

It takes LOADS of CONFIDENCE to walk this path.

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It doesn’t matter what business you are in. Self mastery is not one’s ability to perform well for another human being according to a version that is not their own.

This is about your vision, and your ability to get “the world” to march into formation and alignment with “your world” which houses your vision. 


humility Quotes

True humility is KNOWING you’re in the presence of a King, speaking to him as such and treating him as such. Not because you are doing HIM a favor, but because that is the way you honor a God King and the love he makes your heart feel…

This means knowing that he is just as worthy and deserving as you are, and if you don’t believe such, then you shouldn’t be with him.

No need for excuses that he doesn’t treat you right. Why are you with a man who doesn’t honor you?  Blaming anything or anyone outside of you is not the way to go.