How To Get To Heaven

First of all, ain’t no 6 steps bish. It’s more like a zillion. Job already told you this. 

Being in the DMV yesterday taught me some things about the way we as humans deny ourselves and try to be something we’re not. All in the name of phucking humility. I sat there at the DMV itching, telling myself that I wasn’t itching and that I was over-reacting cause this is what normal people do. “NORMAL” the biggest lie that I often try to feed myself in the name of humility. Because we’re phucking lied to and told we’re all the same. That no one is better and blah, blah, blah.

So you keep talking to yourself and telling yourself to get out of your ego. You keep telling yourself to accept things. Accept the fact that you live in a loud lousy apartment in the city, when you really want to live in the country on a farm and raise pigs and sh*t. Accept that you drive a phucking Toyota, when you really want to drive a Tesla or an Aston Martin. Accept the mediocre azz relationship you’re in, cause no one is perfect. How dare you actually want to be happy with an amazing mate. I mean you’re not perfect yourself they say. Like how dare you expect someone to actually be love and go hard in life. Who do you think you are, God?

But back to this whole thing of take that sh*t. You’re the problem cause you’re not giving the love to yourself they say.  Gosh, we are fed so many damn lies. Light & Love almost be in denial of the truth. Jesus was all the light and love possible and still his life went the way it went. Even that lie of saying we fully control our lives. We don’t. Some sh*t is just written if you are a called soul.

There may be some painful sh*t written into your timeline to get you to pursue a purpose. Maybe it was a soulpact you made before you came to earth. Who freaking knows. But once you’re here and you come out your mother’s womb, some things are already written out for you. And that’s why you experience dejavu. Cause your soul wants what the phuck it wants and you are programmed to go get it.  Your mind will be like “Remember This. Yes This!” It stays tossing you some confusing sh*t, and giving you dreams of luxury and red carpets, taunting you… While you say “Damn. I just want to be happy.”

So when you get here and you start walking and talking. You gots sh*t to do. And the minute you start on that journey everyone pops up to start telling you that you want too much, that you’re doing things wrong, and that you need to be more realistic, and think smaller.

Right away the world starts to put you in this box and telling you to humble yourself. They tell you this is life and the way it is and you have to accept it. Then you turn on the tv and you see rich people. The special people. The people who get to live their dreams. And the world tells you that you’re not special and that’s impossible for you. That only so many get to be the rich happy person.

And in the back of your mind, you’re like “Okay. That’s me!” But they say NOOOO. So you turn on the tv again and there’s this cartoon “Richy Rich” being rich and you’re back again to feeling like “That’s the life I want!”

But don’t tell anyone cause when you do they only try to reroute you to being realistic again. 

So after a while you start having normal goals, like growing up and getting a job and sh*t. Just so that people will like you and find you acceptable. Just so you’ll fit in. 

Then one day you realize you’ve pretended to fit in phucking long enough. Then it becomes phuck this job, phuck these people, and phuck their tired azz mindset that tells them that they can’t be rich and truly happy. You get to the point where you realize something isn’t right and you make a DECISION to refuse to live that tired azz life. You even stop giving af about the money for a while. You just sense there is more to life that there has to be a better way. 

Good job. Welcome to the flight to Heaven.

Buckle up your seats. Before this flight takes off I want you to know a few things.  To get to heaven we have to make a few stops through hell.  On other flights they don’t tell you this but here at KissyAir we believe in telling you the truth.

Now during these stops through hell, if you’re really about this good life, at no point should you get off the plane. You are only to look out the window and observe.

 

If someone from hell tries to board the plane, don’t get upset or react to their hellish behavior and the sh*t they’ll put you through during that time period. There’s a soul lesson you need to learn and it’s all for your greater good. So observe, and learn the lesson. Then the hellish person and lesson will go away. 

This will happen quite a few times. Then suddenly you get to the point where you finally get it. The flight is smooth, and we’re finally through the gates of hell and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You get closer… you even see the light get brighter. You’re happy you held onto your FAITH. Then boom, will you believe that somehow we manage to make another stop in hell! WTF, I thought I was good. I thought I knew. How Sway? There must be some kind of mistake, you’ll say.

You’ll think “Damn. I understand I must learn the lessons. But how many damn lessons does it take? Sheesh! This flight is expensive. Is it even worth it? Perhaps I should’ve just humbled myself and stayed down in the mortal earth realm with all of the people who pretend to be happy. I mean at the least I was doing way better than most. I was making 6 figures, I had fairly decent family. I’m kind of cute. I’m smart. I probably could’ve made it work. 

All kind of things go through your head. You will start to question yourself about why your st*pid azz decided to get on this ludicrous azz ride to heaven anyway.  (Don’t call yourself stupid.) You are ready to give up and you’re really feel stupid af cause you feel like you should’ve been there already.

You may even give up for a day or two, a week, a month or two. But just know, your azz will be right back on this flight. You can’t help it. It’s encoded into you to finish the flight. Cause you know like you know, like you know, that you belong in Heaven. And that’s where the good life is at.  So this time you hop back on and you buckle up.   You expect the bumps, delays and turbulence.

Pop your collar this time, cause it’s nothing to a boss.

Things start getting real good. Oh this flight gets so smooth, you smile, begin to celebrate a little, wave at the people down in hell, you think it’s over with and you’re finally getting it….

THEN SMACK. A phucking bird just hit the windshield and you felt the smack all up in your face.  You panic and you start to cry.

Not only do you cry, but you phucking kick and scream and you say “I must go have a talk with God. Cause he is phucking really tripping right now. I am tired of this! This has to end right phucking now!” 

Drinks, Herbs, you need something to calm these nerves. “Flight attendant I need two drinksss asap!”

Your body probably doeesn’t want those drinks...

“Um God. Why is this so phucking hard for me? Can you please hurry these lessons up? Thank You, and so it is!” It’s done, so you go about your way. But that sh*t ain’t done, because YOU forgot something.  When you said to hurry, the  lessons only started to come at you faster.  And you keep learning and learning and learning, and waiting, and waiting and waiting.  You get emotional and start crying here and there. You don’t understand what’s going on and frankly you’re tired of the lessons and really don’t give af anymore. Phuck all of this love & light. These people are crazy. Why do they even put themselves through this madness?

 

So much sh*t goes through your head, then one day you kind of SURRENDER like whatever and stop pushing so much. Then boom REVELATION. The lesson becomes clear. Really clear. Crystal clear. It’s a painful lesson about your past. You cry. You cry cause you realize you’ve been fighting against something that was written before you were born. It actually didn’t have to be so hard.

It was YOU who was the delay. Then you get to this place of ACCEPTANCE of what is and was, and you make a DECISION to say phuck that storyline, thank it for all of the lessons and move on to the next life.  It’s time to call in some sh*t. Earth to heaven. Your flight has finally arrived.  Welcome to the pearly gates of Heaven. Huh, what? Are you serious? So it was really this easy the whole time? Yes my child.  Then you’re like “Ain’t that about a b*tch.”

You ain’t got no choice but to love yourself from here on out. Cause you did that. GRATITUDE.

P.S. I cursed a lot less before I got on that flight. The flight that got me to stop trying to be perfect.

P.P.S. Don’t you dare give up on your phucking dreams. And if you don’t like basic azz manicured nails, get you some stiletto nails Sis. BE YOU! Phuck team basic. Phuck Blending In. That sh*t is for mortals.

Love, Kissy 💋

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