The 57-year-old actress bae Vivica A. Fox is is going viral on TikTok for her candid response after a fan asked if she ever thought about adopting a child.
When the fan asked if she thought about adopting a child in order to leave behind a legacy, 50 Cent’s ex was a little taken back, yet kindly responded.
“Girl, I’m 57,” Vivica can be heard saying during a live Q&A session. “I’ve got six god-babies. Don’t think that because I didn’t birth children that I don’t have children. I have six god-children. I do not feel less fulfilled as a woman—period.”
The multi-hyphenate entertainer continued, “I love children. Please do not get me wrong, I absolutely love children! In my life, it was career or children and I never met the man I could have children with. I didn’t.”
Vivica went on to share that her family stopped her from tying the knot to someone that she wouldn’t be able to deal with for 18 years. “I trust my family,” she shared with the crowd.
@iamkirajThis woman asked Vivica Fox if she thought about adopting a child so she could be a mother and “leave her legacy”. #motherhood #vivicafox
She concluded, “When God took away my opportunity to bear children, he sent my god-babies. So, I’ve got kids!”
It is indeed a blessing to have children, rather you gave birth to them or not. Simply being able to nurture children and see them grow is very fulfilling.
However, the part about God taking away her opportunity to bear children, is something I must clear up.
Vivica’s position of not finding a man she could have kids with, truly reflects on the position of many black women in America. It’s a reflection of the decades of dating culture where it’s cool to not be in a committed relationship and the agenda that men need to have more than one woman is being pushed.
Such an agenda doesn’t allow space for a business woman to feel comfortable or safe enough with the average man to connect herself to him for 18-years, by bearing a child with him.
This pattern will continue to rum rampant in the black community. God gives most of women the ability to have children. He also gives women the ability to be intentional. Not only do a high proportion of black women not feel safe enough to have children with men, but also some women have one kid, have such a bad experience with the father, then wisen up and avoid making that mistake again. The child isn’t a mistake. But connecting yourself to someone who would try to ruin your life for 18-years, simply because they can’t keep you, is a no no. Some people truly learn from wisdom.
But men aren’t the whole problem. Instead of a woman swearing off having another child, or simply being okay with not having another child, She could simply set the intention to have another child with a better man.
What most black women do is instead is intend to make money, while HOPING for a good man.
It’s all so simple. We blame God for things that aren’t his fault. Could he assure that our first choice is a great guy? Yes God could surely intervene. But that would take away our freedom of CHOICE to live this life as we wish and learn the lessons that we learn.
For if no one learns any lessons, who will teach? Many life lessons can’t be read in a book or regurgitated. They must be experienced and understood, in order to pass the message on.