Toxic people are usually the ones who approach you about being in your life. They almost force themselves on you, then expect you to come down to their standards.
They hurt you over and over again, and let you down. Even if they behave for a little while they are right back to being the same.
You wonder how you got into this mess in the first place.
Well, it’s because your strongest attributes are leaving you vulnerable to these toxic people.
You’re a people pleaser and you aint got no type. What I mean by that is you actually don’t require that people be in pleasing alignment with you.
Here is why you attract toxic people
1. You are too generous with your time.
Let’s be honest. You’re nice AF. Which is a really generous and admirable character trait. But toxic people are drawn to you like white on rice, and you give them lots of time, empathy and understanding.
They beg of you to drop everything you are doing to respond to them. They want your time right away, they demand replies to their text, and always want you to go some place with them. As a result they demand more of your time and leaving you feeling drowned in resentfulness. You abandon yourself to make sure other people are okay. Instead of checking in with yourself to see if YOU are okay. You consider other people and their wants, needs and desires, more than you consider your own. Many people grew up with this belief system. It’s time to let go of that.
They will hold on to you if you’re willing to drop everything for them, answer all their texts, reply promptly to their phone calls. As they demand more of your time, you drown in resentfulness.
Generosity without boundaries is a disaster. Became aware of your needs and feelings, gradually build boundaries, and say no to requests that are likely to cause you to become angry.
Setting boundaries will be hard at first because it will feel selfish. But if you’ve flown on a plane, you know how the flight attendants instruct passengers to put on their own masks before helping others, even their kids? That’s because you cannot help others if you are disabled. You need to look out for yourself first; only then can you truly help others.
Tending to your own needs will preserve the best of you so that you can share yourself with wonderful people, not just the toxic ones.
2. You are an empath.
You take on other people’s emotions so it’s easy for you to place yourself in their shoes. But then you never give them their shoes back. You start walking around in their shoes,.
Once you’re goals and ideas are shared with them they view you as greedy, unrealistic, and selfish.
3. You have very lax BOUNDARIES.
You refuse to listen to your own intuition.
Heart-Centered souls often have a very positive mindset. You often assume that the average human being just as kind as you are. You even want them to be and see them as such. You refuse to accept them for what they are. TOXIC AF.
Most people have a darker side that they have no intentions of conquering. They haven’t done the work. Yet you assume that maybe they don’t know any better and hope they will do right by you.
You struggle to accept that humanity contains narcissism, greed and deception. Most people are a bunch of decepticons. They talk to you for what they can get out of you. Because you are not that way, you feel bad about looking at them as such.
When it comes to relationships you find yourself with toxic people who you HOPE will change, although clearly they show they have no plans to.
Instead you accept and settle for their dark side, because no one is perfect. You find yourself making excuses for their behavior.
Many people believe that toxic people are simply humans with flaws and they should be accepted. But that’s not true. Everyone has to work on their own darkness. Either they love and respect you enough to want to stay in your life, so they change. Or they have gots to go.
Your intuition tells you when danger approaches, both physically and emotionally. Don’t suppress the pain and drain you should feel inside. It might be difficult at first, because your view of others may drown you in anxiety, shock, fear and anger. But let go and keep it moving. While you don’t want to respond in fear and you could go within to see how you attracted them, everyone is not worth the time it will take you to deal with them, slow down and look further into your flaws. There are actually people who will help you grow in peace.
Therefore tons of emotional pain from toxic relationships are unnecessary.
4. You’re easygoing.
You’re easy breezy. You tell people that things are okay even when they are not. You’re not much into arguing, because when you do people get really upset and don’t like it. They end up making you feel bad for quickly shutting them down and telling them the truth about themselves.
To keep the peace you say everything is okay, and try to not let things bother you. Then you go about your business. You’re a really nice person. People often don’t realize that you choose to be that way.
Instead they take your kindness for weakness.
I mean, like keeping your cool even in tough situations. You try to make others feel at ease with your witty quips because you are kind, patient, and pretty non-aggressive.
Your inner peace attracts toxic people who are eager to disrupt it.
They disrupt your peace and you snap the phuck out, because you highly dislike people who interrupt your peace. You feel it’s hard to interrupt your peace, yet you make it so easy by allowing toxic people into your space on a consistent basis.
5. You don’t ignore people who don’t serve you.
You’re always busy trying to serve people who don’t serve you.
Toxic people hate peace. It aggravates them. Chaos is their thing, so when they see you being too peaceful they can’t help but to disrupt it. Toxic people love to target kind people and to try to control you.
People through the toxic word around at anyone these days, but toxic people are borderline retarded. If you say “If you need something, I got you, then they are taking advantage. They will want you to abandon all of your plans in order to babysit their kids that they had with a man who isn’t present. And they will get hot water corn bread pissed at you if you say no because you have more important things to do. To a toxic person nothing is more important than them, their desires and their time. They have a ME, ME, ME, attitude.
To avoid this, do not automatically say YES when people ask things of you. Tell them you will get back to them later. Only say YES, if you completely want to. Stop doing things out of invisible obligation. You are not obligated to anyone.
Do not let toxic people lead you down their roadmap
Always drive your own car. Toxic people will steal as much of your time as possible.
Keep your positive mindset and continue moving forward.
Slowly move away from toxic people. Let them drop off by having less time for them and no longer being available.
Choose to let toxic people go and THRIVE.