All too often I hear relationship coaches saying that women are broken and don’t know how to communicate their needs to a man.
But what about when you are communicating your needs and he says no? What about when you’ve communicated your needs over and over again, and he refuses to deliver, but still says he wants you.
This is when it’s time to make a decision of self-love.
You’re not wrong for asking to have your needs met. You deserve to have it all. The right man will desire to give the world to you on a silver platter. The wrong one will have some kind of reason for telling you that you’re not good enough.
And if you value yourself at all, chances are you push him away. You know you can’t continue to live in the dark with him. A man has to be able to see your light.
You know what a man who sees your light thinks when he looks into your eyes? He thinks you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. His heart says he can’t live without you. He wants to keep you and will do what it takes to maintain your love.
But the wrong man looks at you as just another pretty face in the crowd with a nice body. In his eyes that’s all you have to offer.
However, when you look at him and maybe even his big belly, you see right past his imperfections, into his inner being. His body is not super important to you. So why my dear, do you think you don’t deserve the same love in return.
Maybe you want him to be the one for you. But he can’t. He can’t love what he can’t see. Therefore he’ll pull at you and tell you that you’re not good enough. He’ll tell you that those men in the light who see you, honor you, and give to you, are fake. He’ll tell you that his love, that comes with nothing but feelings of not enough ness is the real love.
How many times in life have you chose that kind of “love?”
You know why you chose that kind of love?
It’s because you wanted to BE HUMBLE and fit into the world. You fail to honor your uniqueness and Goddess aura. You allowed men to make you believe that you weren’t good enough right now. You allowed them to tell you that you had to earn their love, and to work harder in order to be good enough.
Subconsciously this created chaos in your mind, heart and world. You started to feel low. You loss gratitude for life. You became a bit disconnected. It’s what happens to women who spend time with men who don’t truly love them.
Mostly this happens to boss chicks. Because you believe you can give yourself the material possessions and in the meantime, maybe getting your credit score higher, buying a new home, or getting a luxury wardrobe will make him suddenly value you. You feel he just needs a little encouragement.
Sis, no he doesn’t. That man knows what he wants. He’s just using you to bid time until the woman of his dreams comes along. You’re entertainment for now. But if you say something, he’ll assure you that you’re not. He’ll say you just need to work a little harder and get better. He’ll say you need to DO more for HIM. And after he breaks your heart, maybe he’ll even ask you to pay the tip for dinner or valet. If he’s really trifling, maybe he’ll even ask you for a few dollars.
That man you’re chasing, will never appreciate you. He wasn’t meant to. Love isn’t that hard. Men literally see a woman they want and fall in love. It just hits them out of the blue.
You knew from the very beginning that he wasn’t crazy into you. You could tell by his behavior. But you wanted to play it cool and have patience.
Meanwhile you look around at other women being wined, dined, married, manifesting major empires, while the guy you chase continues to date woman after woman seeking his dream girl. Yes, he’ll come back to you to fill an empty space. He has no problem using your body and telling you that you have nothing to offer him. In so many ways, he’s told you how little he values you.
But once again, you love him and all of his imperfections. Don’t you know that your Dream Man will love you just the way you are? The same way you believe that the man you are chasing will get better with time, the right man will look at you the same way.
You’re not holding hands with a man who thinks you’re irreplaceable. You could be walking down the aisle of the whole world with him, while they look at him in awe, because he captured a beautiful, light filled woman like you. But to him, you’re just a temporary toy, that he’s slowly breaking.
Dream man feels romantic love and ecstasy flooding into his heart when he’s with you, filling it like a balloon. He can feel the spirit of deep connection. He can feel blissful companionship weaving it’s way into your life. He no longer doubts himself and knows he’s chosen the right one.
You can be yourself with him. You can feel safe and secure in his love. He accepts you, just as much as you accept him.
It’s up to you, to receive this love now.
Do you really think he’s be able to ignore you, if he loved you? There are always signs of a man not loving you. Ignoring you is the biggest sign. A sign that he’s not planning on spending the rest of his life with you.
Truth be told, you could leave the house tomorrow and find a new man who would do more for you off top, than the man you’re chasing would.
Your hopes that he will come around and suddenly see you is nothing more than a sea of illusions. Even if you were to temporarily capture some of his heart, he’d still leave you when dream girl showed up.
Has he ever done something for you without you asking him to? No? That’s exactly what I thought. He will never do it either. Or maybe he did ONE small thing to keep you on the hook of lowering your self-worth.
People who have only temporary interest in someone will put minimal effort into that relationship, just like he’s not moving a finger to make you happy. And chances are, he still wants you to be happy with his behavior.
You want to be happy? Get rid of men who don’t serve you.
Truth be told, even he knows he’s the wrong one. He’s probably told you that he’s not the one for you and to move on to another man. But you didn’t move on. So he continued to feed you crumbs.
Do you think a man would tell his dream girl to move on to another man? Of course not.
The man for you will risk everything to be there for you, the best way he knows how. He does this because your love feels like home to him. When you hug him and caress him he feels at peace with you.
But how are you going to meet the right guy when you’re busy spending your time with the man who tells you that you’re not good enough.
How much more time are you going to let go buy, constantly realizing you’ve wasted your time with him.
You can’t shine brightly if there is something pulling you into darkness. Don’t allow yourself to be pulled; be brave and shine like the Goddess you are. You don’t belong in the dark.
A woman can’t thrive when she’s dealing with a man who doesn’t want her to win.
Break the pattern. Decide you’ll never do this again. Run away from pain and into the arms of a man who makes you feel safe and secure in his love.
Otherwise, you’ll spend the rest of your life, wondering what’s wrong with you.
It’s not you baby. It’s him. He doesn’t want you the way you want him.
Don’t be afraid to let go. I promise a better man will come along.