A client tagged me in a post today thanking me for speaking life into her. In the post she says that I can’t even understand just how much I’ve helped her. She says that often.  A lot of my clients say that.  And they are right. In many ways I’m still just Kissy running around helping people, except now I get paid for it and appreciated.  But I’m simply doing what God called me to do. I’m in my purpose. It still hasn’t hit me as to the depth of what I do in people’s life. 

Anyway this particular client is awakening.  I was reading her post where she was discussing the array of feelings she’s experiencing. 

““dying to self”, letting go of certain habits, certain people & lifestyles, is NO joke! it’s hard. it hurts. you’ll be angry, mad, sad, won’t understand some things, you’ll cry lots of tears, and feel a million emotions. I mourn the girl I used to be bc she’s “familiar”, and even the woman I am now bc she’s “comfortable”, but great things never happen in your comfort zone. stepping into the unknown is scary, but you better believe- ima do it scared!”

I thought back to my own awakening and how painful it was.  You know what makes some awakenings so painful? It’s because it happens when you finally get to the point where you feel you can deal with life. You’re about to finally stop fighting against the things you can not change, accept that maybe you’ll never be a multi-millionaire, but at least you can buy a million dollar home, continue to make multi-six figures, and be with whatever mate you’re with, even though they really aren’t measuring up to the greatness you seek. 

Other people are happily married to a great mate, but they are sick and tired of their job, but they try to accept it. They actually work to get comfortable with it, cause it pays the bills, and still they are making 6 figures so they are doing more than average. 

The awakening seems to come when you start to practice mass gratitude. You’re not trying to complain at all. You try with all of your might to be grateful for whatever God has given you.  Then BOOM! All hell breaks loose.  The awakening hits you. First you’re all excited, like “How Cool!”  You suddenly become sensitive to negativity.  You can’t take it. Then things start going crazy, and usually you can get a hold on things pretty fast and stop it, but not this. It’s like the more you fight to keep it together, the worst things get.  Then you’re like “Damn. Does God suddenly hate me or something? I thought we were cool. I mean before this he gave me everything I asked for.”

Then if you are spiritual you eventually realize that God has a plan for you, and you’re going to have to sit down and ride the storm out. 

For some that storm will make you want to commit suicide, cause life just ain’t the same and you get tired of having gratitude for mere crumbs. 

Then you start noticing things about yourself and your thoughts.  Then it goes “OMG. I’m not perfect. I need to change some things about myself.” 

I think the most painful part is that we rush to change things about ourselves instead of just accepting that God has now changed our heart, and know that he’ll do the rest. 

Things tend to get easier after that. Except for spiritual life coaches. I don’t even feel like talking about the chaos that comes upon you when you go from spiritual awakening into hopping into become a life coach. That’s pretty much like walking yourself through the valley of the shadow of death, plus the valley of fire, and a few more trenches.  The pain of the transformation is insane. But when you finally butterfly, you cry.  It’s so beautiful. The reward you get for holding onto your faith when the ship was out to sea being torn to shreds by the storm. The storm finally subsides. Peace that surpasses all understanding is back again. Except this time you’re in a whole new realm, world and dimension. Sometimes you wonder if it’s real. Life gets to be just that good.

P.S. Spiritual awakening is actually easy for many. That’s not my experience or those that I work with, so I can’t speak on that. My awakening was the dark night of the soul experience. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. 

Basically the faster you stop giving af about material stuff, marriage, the house, the kids and the happily ever after, the faster you can lose the illusion, shift your consciousness, then get back to dream life the right way. (Still getting everything you ever wanted)