When Love is Where Your Pain resides
This journey of re-discovering myself, healing and birthing my purpose has been one of the most difficult, most enlightening experiences of my life.
However, I do know there shall be no more sorrow or crying. Neither shall there be anymore pain. For the former things have passed away. I’ve entered heaven.
But back to my purpose. I know love is my purpose because it caused me A LOT of pain in the past.
Pain from self-sacrificial love has the ability to reside in the deepest parts of your mind, body, heart and soul.
But your spirit will always bring joy and sunshine into the world. Real love is selfless and free from fear. It pours itself out upon the object of its affection. Without demanding any return. It’s joy is in the joy of giving. Love is God in manifestation, and the strongest magnetic force in the Universe.
Pure, unselfish love, draws to itself it’s own. It does not need to seek or demand. Scarcely anyone has the faintest conception of real love.
Humans are selfish and fearful in their affections, thereby losing the thing they love. Therefore by loving with God-like intent will also get you hurt on this earth.
Give a perfect love and you will receive a perfect love. Therefore bless those who take their love away from you.
That’s how this thing called love works. I know because it’s how I manifest so much love into my life. I simply vibrate on the frequency of love. My vibrations go out into the universe and pull in those who will immediately or after a while fall in love with me. But sometimes it brought me a broken soul who I nursed back into remembrance of self; by pouring love into him or them.
To heal those men I became a siren of emotional seduction. I’m already packaged in seduction. I get them to think they are falling in love with me. Not intentionally, but the way I pour love into them makes them feel like they are in love. They actually are not. They’d be able to see me as my highest self if they truly loved me. Not being able to see me beyond the physical is my sign of knowing he’s not the one.
Regardless I did what it took to soften their heart and to help them feel again. I healed them and took in the pain of the way they may have treated me during the healing. Hurt people hurt people and rarely ever realize it. Most times they think they are treating others great, because in a way they do attempt to love from their own love language.
Sometimes the pain I felt simply came from watching their behavior and masked pain behind the huge walls they put up… Walls they felt keep them safe. Then when the healing is done, they wondered why I wanted to go my separate way. I tend to note that the healing is done because their behavior towards me gets worse… They see me as less. I’ve seen the storyline enough times.
I like to see people happy. But I’ll never be interested in basic love. And seeing how most people don’t know what real love is, the love they offer is basic, due to their habits that they could easily change. I could show anyone how to love, but chances are, they will only listen if they pay me. People don’t want to be told that their habits cause dysfunctional relationships. They want to listen to what society has taught them. They want to listen to dating experts who aren’t enlightened.
So when you say “Hey. This is the way to love over here. If you follow me you’ll experience the deepest love you’ve ever felt in your life.” Even though they’ve felt tinges of it, because I’ve encircled them with love; they don’t want to come. They want to continue doing things their way.
Telling them that there is a better way is looked at as judgement, as not being good enough, as being unwanted. They don’t realize the only thing you seek is to show them the miracle of love. Nor did they have any interest in giving you what you wanted. They start deflecting.
So they’re angry at you. Especially more now, because you’ve awakened them and showed them their powers. You’ve shown them their worth. I’ve shown them their Kingship, so they see less of the Queen in me. The fact that they’ve been healed by a Goddess, wooooo chile. They are miles away from registering that fact.
I’ve increased all of the good feelings they have about themselves. I’ve lessoned the pain the other girls inflicted upon them. They inflicted pain on one another and have no clue. Cause both see it their way. So then that pain turns towards me when the non-romance they offer isn’t good enough. It’s all my fault and I’m pushing them away they say. While at the same time telling me they don’t need to be taught how to love.
So they rip at me and try to tear me down. They try to find ways that I’m imperfect, instead realizing I’ve given them the perfect love. I simply tried to remove myself from the situation afterwards, because I no longer wanted to experience the pain of loving them. How can I when I know that love is not hard?
The way most people love these days requires you to totally toss your ego in the trash and have absolutely no expectations. You gotta go with the bumps and bruises and let them drag you into the pain. They also don’t wan’t you being a mirror reflecting their dysfunctional ways back to them. If they ignore you two days cause they are busy, then you ignore them a week cause you feel like being busy being happy in your own world, you are now the meanest, most disrespectful person in the world. Yet they have every excuse in the book of why they did it to you, time and time again. The behavior was right for them but not right for you to do. In most cases what happens instead is cheating on both ends.
That’s what most humans call love. They think love is inflicting pain on someone and seeing how much pain a person can take. They then start to believe you love them if you keep taking the pain they throw your way. If you have any self-worth and say you deserve better, they say you’re tripping. They remind you that no human is perfect.
People don’t realize that love is actually one of the easiest things in the world. It is humans not tossing their ego to the side in the name of fearlessly walking all the way INTO love and being love.
Instead, FEAR is the program they are running. Fear of not being good enough.
And as long as real love is not super important to them, the truth is they will never be able to keep an enlightened soul. I know this. I don’t even waste my time anymore.
Meanwhile they continue the program that prevents them from having authentic relationships with people.
It prevents them from having authentic relationships with self.
It prevents them from being truly connected with their body.
It forces them to become numb in order to survive. I’ve experienced this numbness a few times. I’ll sit in it for a little while, then I’ll heal myself of it. I never want to walk around numb like most humans. It’s boring.
Even though they don’t cry, and don’t experience the hurt that I have. I would still rather experience love time and time again.
Their fears and wanting to continue to do things their way forces them to disconnect mentally, emotionally and physically.
They end up in relationships that lack real love, because both are still running the same basic program.
They begin to distrust the very people who are there to protect and nurture them. They begin to distrust anyone who claims to love them.
They spend a lot of time sabotaging relationships, believing it’s all on the other person. Then they get used to not truly feeling love, and settling for what they think love is.
Yet never truly feeling the bliss of being fully loved internally and externally. To stop this, you have to make a conscious decision to go back into the dark and find yourself. Each time my heart got broke I went back into the darkness and found myself. Each time I improved my self-worth by becoming more value. But that left more shadow work.
Your real worth is your birthright. You are worthy and deserving of love just by being born. Add that to my value as a human being and heck no, I can’t just hand myself to any man who doesn’t understand the value of love. That’s a waste of my time. Time that they will only use to move onto the next person, to feel vindicated over their own destructive behavior in relationships.
And maybe moving on is better for them afterall. It has to be easier with another person who also doesn’t know what real love is, so dysfunction and basic is normal to them. People often take better care of and invest more into their pets then they do into their relationships… Pets return back unconditional love, cause as long as you feed them and don’t hit them, they are good.
You have to let go of the need to punish the people who hurt you.
You have to forgive people who probably will never acknowledge the pain they have caused you. After all those people never asked you to love them. Neither did they ask you to sacrifice yourself and be in pain for them. Just like a mother gives love to her kids, give your love to people with no regrets once it’s done. But don’t overgive without being aware of the potential fallback
You have to learn to love the parts of yourself that still hurt.
You have to set yourself free. No one else is going to do it for you.
Then you gotta get up and love again. Because love is all there is. If you seek it, you will eventually find it. If you give a perfect love, it will be returned to you.
Call it in.
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