The reason why so many relationships fall apart, is because people seek to control the life experience of another.

I was talking to someone the other day and I mentioned how God seemed to keep leading them to PEACE, and that each time they rejected it.

This person told me that my idea of peace was not his idea of peace.

This person had seen the ocean for the first time in their lives.  Many people grew up seeing the ocean. But for someone who has spent most of their adult life not seeing the ocean, the sight of it is deeply embedded in the memory and completely soul transforming.

There is something about the vastness of the ocean, the sand on the beach, and the sound of the strong powerful waves as you watch them coming ashore.

In the water, you may see birds hovering around. You may even see the sun glistening on the peaks of the wave. But other than the birds and the sound of the waves, you hear nothing else coming from the water.  Water is silent. It only makes noise when it moves.  Yet deep beneath the waves, life is there. All kinds of life.  If you are one of the brave humans who will dive into the bottom of the ocean, you will find all kinds of God’s creations that you’ve never seen in real life.

Like a starfish looks so pretty by the way they pictures are drawn. But seeing a star fish on the beach may actually gross you out. In reality, it’s not a very pretty fish. The IDEA of it is what’s so pretty.

Before we get into relationships we often have these preconceived ideas of what relationships are and what they are supposed to be. Only through life lessons, experiences in relationships and increased consciousness, do we begin to see that relationships are meant to be safe places to allow people to grow.

People can’t grow when they are constantly being judged for everything they do. People need a safe place to grow into their divinity. They need freedom to express themselves. They need understanding and unconditional love.

You can give a person that when you are forcing YOUR IDEALS on them of who they should be, or how they should act and go about life.

This is how clashes happen.  It’s why the bible tells you to be with someone you are equally yoked with.  What is your idea of peace? What is their idea of peace?  Can those two ideals get along peacefully?  Maybe.

If your idea of peace is a committed faithful relationship, then you are going to clash in a relationship with someone who believes their idea of peace to be dealing with multiple women at the same time.

This is where honesty comes in at. The person who wants the faithful monogamous relationship usually expresses this. The person who wants a poly relationship usually hides it.  They not only hurt the person they enter into a relationship with, but then they hurt their own selves and ruin a connection due to dishonesty.

Oftentimes it’s the man who wants the open relationship and the woman wants the man so badly she agrees. Most women would actually prefer that a man only wanted to be with them.

From my research I noted that most people in poly relationships are not happy.  It’s because they are all seeking love outside of themselves. They are trying to feel a void. A void that can only be filled with God’s love.

You will never experience the magnificence of God’s love until you enter into a committed relationship with someone you deeply love, who loves you back just as much.

While we are told by HUMANS to not look for love outside of ourselves, we are not meant to be alone. We need connections with other humans. We need to love and to be loved in return.  But just like everything else in life, you’ll never find what it is you truly seek, when you’re too afraid to commit to something or someone.

Before you get with someone, be honest about what your needs are and the things you desire to experience. Then see if you are both willing to peacefully take the journey together. For their can be no peace without love.