When it comes to your mate, listening to your friends can talk you out of the greatest blessing of your life.
When it comes to my mate, I’ve never listened to my friends, except when they tell me how I can IMPROVE or treat my mate better. I have a habit of admitting what I’ve SAID to people. I consult with friends who will tell me “Kissy you’re doing this wrong. That’s not right Kissy. You can do better. Try this way. That’s not way to talk to a person.”
This comes because I am always clear in making sure I admit whatever I’ve said in response to me feeling someone has wronged me.
The ego is so amazing, and how it reacts to perceived wrongs against it…
Usually when my mate does something to me that I don’t like, I avoid even telling other people about it, because I know they will only look at them through eyes of judging and believing him to be wrong or bad.
But seeing as to how I am the one sleeping with him, I know him a lot better and have a better understanding of some of his actions and why he may have done that.
For instance, a man can tell me that he’s busy and doesn’t have time for something. I could allow that to hurt my ego and my pride, or I could simply accept that maybe he really is busy and believes he doesn’t have time.
Because I am a work-obsessed woman I can also understand someone feeling that way. I could even understand that people make time for what’s important to them. But I also know what’s important to a person often depends on where they are in life. You can be not important to someone one week, because they are IN A RUSH to accomplish something, then next week when they are done, suddenly their mind will free up and have time to find you of some importance.
At least that’s the way I am with many of the men who seek to date me. Most are not going to pay my bills, so no, I don’t find it important to stop working in order to get to know them. It’s nothing personal against them. It’s simply me handling my business so I can keep up with my lifestyle.
Others right away set themselves up as a provider, so I’ll give them a little text time, and set a date for the future. I will make time to get to know a man who shows he may be interested in investing in me. This is the way most boss chicks operate, but most men don’t understand it. So they show up not offering her any sense of safety, while wanting her time.
The average entrepreneur is constantly rushing to complete something. The average life coach is constantly in a cycle of completing a launch. Most people are in a rush, look-up and realize they did not enjoy the journey.
Enlightened souls have this understanding.
However back to the outside perspective, people would take high offense to a man telling a woman he doesn’t have time for her. They may not see that he’s bought into the perspective that a successful man doesn’t have much free time for anything other than work. They may not understand that the man believes that women take him off of his focus. So they would tell the woman “Phuck Him!”
In my history with men, I noticed that they would always go to their friends to complain about me. Their friends would try to tell them how to deal with me. But none of their friends had a woman at home who was anything like me. So of course it’s no surprise that all of their advice failed and I broke up with them.
See most men don’t have friends who tell them what THEY are doing wrong in relationships. No one tells 50/50 men that half of their problem and lack of receiving respect from their woman is due to him not being a provider. Therefore he catches a lot of lip and talking back. His woman can’t help but to display some form or disrespect for his masculinity.
As a woman is encoded to desire a protector and provider, no matter how much a feral woman she may be.
But this isn’t about that. This is about people discussing their relationships with their friends who don’t make a habit of seeing both sides and holding both people accountable for the miscommunications in the relationship.
A man who is not a provider needs to accept that YES, he may experience some forms of emasculation. That’s what he signed up for. In order to stop it, he has to lean in and treat his other half like even more of a Queen. After all, she is showing up in life just as Kingly as he is. Just because he has a d*ck, doesn’t make him superior. Activating his God and protecting and PROVIDING for his Queen makes him superior.
A man can not hold a title without actions to back it up.
A woman who operates in masculinity must also accept that her man will often treat her as such. She has to take account and dive deeper into her femininity to get a different result.
Most people’s mindset tells them to get rid of people. After all there are billions of people on the planet. Quite naturally people would feel like people are easily disposable.
I felt like my mates were more valuable than that. But that’s not to say my way is right. I simply value my relationships more than average.
Anyway, once you get to pulling people into your business, you may as well accept that if you stay with your mate, or go back to your mate, your friends and family now don’t like them.
At some point you will then have to choose between your friends and family or your mate. Because your mate is not going to bow down to any of them or care that your other people don’t like them.
Here is also something else. The way people act and react are deeply connected to childhood wounding and past experiences.
Most of the time when someone says or does, it’s either because they believe the behavior to be okay or they are responding based upon their own drama and past experiences.
Learning how to relate takes a great deal of work. Learning not to lash out and return the hurt takes healing and removal of the ego.
If you would like to learn how to have better, loving relationships, head on over to Amazon and get my new book, “You Can’t Force A Man To Value You.”