Do you know what you want in a mate?

You’ll never get your fairytale when you settle. They say avoid expectations. Yet many people have very little expectations in relationships and they’re still unhappy, in a basic, unfulfilling relationship with no spark. They’re going through the mundane emotions. So obviously that concept isn’t super solid. 
 
People are so used to basic that they don’t know how to create magic. Magic is created by knowing what you want, so that you’ll appreciate it when it finally shows up.
 
But ask people what kind of mate they are truly seeking, and they probably couldn’t tell you the depth of it. The truth is that most people are just funneling through relationships looking for “something.” But they haven’t defined what that something is.
 
As teenagers you simply fall in love with the emotions of one another. But as adults you gotta know what you want.
 
If you wanted a 4 bedroom home for you and your kids, and you get that home you’ll be happy. But if you only get a 1 bedroom home, you’ll be grateful, but that’s not what makes you happy. Nor is it going to expand you. In fact it’s going to make you feel lack and constantly remind you that you’re missing something. So you’ll keep trying to figure out how to get what you truly want. That house won’t be good enough for you, so you won’t even take care of it and value it the the way you would the four bedroom.  Not to mention the kids will constantly remind you that they want their own bedroom. 
 
Relationships are the same way. If you want a man who shows up and shows out, you may be thankful to find the guy who wants to netflix and chill all the time, but that’s not going to truly make you happy in the long run. Your friends will also remind you of you not having what you want. If not your friends, random social media posts of women who are with amazing men will remind you.  You could even make a post about how happy you are with the man who takes you no where, has no major plans and skips out on Valentines Day cause he doesn’t celebrate it. But you’ll still deep down inside be unhappy.  You can lie to others. But you can’t lie to yourself. 
 
They’ll definitely be certain things about your mate that you may not like, that they can’t change. However, it shouldn’t be major things that can easily be changed by them.
 
Another thing is, until you’re brave enough to spend some time by yourself, love yourself, and enjoy spending time with self, you really can’t be an asset to anyone. People who are quick to jump from relationship to relationship rarely ever do what it takes to make a relationship solid. They don’t know how. Half the time they are simply living to post basic pictures on Facebook and Instagram. And truth be told those photos don’t even impress those of us who love magic…
 
See what we know is that when two people who know what they want come together, the phucking stars align. Everyone can see the magic. 
 
The next person who you consider dating, ask them what they are truly looking for. Chances are they can’t give you a definite answer. So don’t be surprised if they can’t appreciate you. And some people are so darn crazy they know what they want, find it and feel it’s too good to be true, so they sabotage it.
 
Relationships are so simple. Yet most people are just biding time with people until they figure out what they want, or until they’re at the level to attract what they want.
 
Humans would faire so much better if they were simply honest with themselves.
 

Do you know what you want in relationships?
 
Do you have any idea what makes your heart beat?
 
Do you know the kind of person that lights your soul?
 
Do you know what kind of person is the candle to your flame?
 
Have you ever experienced love so intense that it felt like a lighter to your cigarette? (Addiction)
 
Have you ever experienced love so deep that you could barely breathe?
 
Have you experienced love so deep, it’s like medicine for your soul, that you have to keep pumping through your veins?
 

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