I need to start doing video more often, and I will. But what my journey of walking away from my 6 figure gossip/crime blog taught me is that writing is my gift. It’s the gift that God bestowed me with and it’s my most comfortable form of communication with your soul. It’s the tool I use to relay the message that God wants me to relay on a day to day basis.
I relay the message with love. This week has been a major week for me in terms of shifting and really processing into the form of where I can just BE.
I’ve awakened from another period where I’ve put my whole soul into work and looked up to where I’m skinny mini. Thankfully this is the last time I’ll ever do that, because I get it now. It – The way this process of completion of new creation goes. The process of birthing a new business, and learning new habits and new thought processes.
Yesterday I was talking to a friend online and we talked about how last year around this time is when we first had a deep conversation. We’d been casual acquaintances online for years, but never truly talked. Then one day we had a phone conversation and deeply connected. At the time we were both recently broken up from relationships where we felt like we’d put our heart and soul into people and maybe they wronged us. But we had no ill feelings towards them. We took the pain and laid it on the alter with God. Many of our conversations at that point would be about God. In fact he introduced me to Bishop Dale Bronner.
Anyway, yesterday he was showing me the new girls he’s dating and talking about how much they fed into him. He’s getting exactly what he deserves. In his past, women definitely didn’t appreciate him and he’s one of the dopest men I’ve met thus far. 7 Figures, entrepreneur, fit, dresses nice, beautiful spirit, nice looking, well dressed, and treats women like Queens. In fact when he inboxes me he usually says “Hey Queen.”
Bro rolls around in a Maserati… Real humble though. Anyway, he said to me “I don’t regret anything. I wouldn’t change any of it.”
It’s so beautiful to get to the point where you have no regrets. Cause you’ve been molded for your purpose, you laid it all out on the line, healed and walked into a better life. A better life than you may have realized you could’ve had.
How often we sit in relationships where we aren’t being fully loved or appreciated, with people who may be in alignment with us, but we’re not in alignment with them, because they simply don’t think big enough.
People only appreciate or recognize excellence when it’s in alignment with what they desire.
When you meet someone and they are head over heels for you, it’s because you are either exactly what they desire or in alignment with what they desire, so they appreciate now seeing the manifestation of that desire.
When you meet people and they are not excited by you, not impressed by you, after getting to know you, it’s because you’re not in alignment with what they desire.
People only recognize excellence when it’s in alignment with what they desire. Like some people saw Oprah and Beyonce coming, others couldn’t see until they were already on top.
So you have to detach from who can see you and who can’t see you. It’s not up to you, to make people see you. It’s up to you to simply BE and allow those who see you, to learn from you.
The new women he dates can see him. They chase him. Throwing the panties left and right. Mostly cause he stopped hiding and dimming his light. When I first started talking to him I noticed the dimmer switch and told him to turn the light all the way up. He turned it half way up, and is slowly letting the world see him.
He and I started talking after I started going through my own healing process and flicking my own switch from dimmer mode to bright mode.
Even with 700,000 social media followers, I had been dimming my light, playing the background on a blog, not trying to be too noticed personally because I felt that people would be jealous. It was easier to keep the money flowing in, behind the scenes. Thank God I opted out of that. I went to start a new fanpage and with 7,000 followers on that page, I’m happy to say that I get to be my beautiful, positive self and speak with the love and kindness of my soul.
We’ve gone through the process of gaining our freedom. But boy was that process painful.
It’s actually weird now when I talk to men. I’m so used to the 3D realm that I know what men are going to do 10 paces ahead before they do it. I get bored with such men. But thanks to my light coming up I attract so many amazing 5D men who feed life and love into me. That’s fun.
I’ve also been celibate for a year. Not intentionally. It just happened like that because I stopped dating.
Anyway, I look forward to the day when I can say that I have no regrets and wouldn’t change anything. I’ve heard other people say that before, and have told them “Dude, you should have some regrets. If you did, maybe you’d do better.” Maybe I was wrong for saying that, but at the same time, regretting some of my past decisions is what stopped me from making them again. It’s what made me stick with the process of awakening this time and not go back to my old ways.
I’ve learned that God uses us and chooses us for something bigger than us. I’m well aware that my life is so much bigger than me. I inspire people all around the world, simply by being me. Can you imagine, just waking up in the morning and saying whatever you feel like saying, and that sh*t being inspiring af to thousands of people within hours? That’s pretty much my life. But it’s never quite registered in my mind. Cause I’m just being me. I get messages daily of people telling me how much they love me and how much I inspire them. I literally have to work on receiving that love, cause I kind of walk around detached from the world, just being me… That really makes me understand how God works through me, as a vessel to relay messages. I don’t need any special training to relay that message. I seriously don’t even have to think much. It just flows. Much like this blog.
People often ask me how I manage to write so much, every day. It takes no effort, other than sitting down and making time to do it. When you’re operating in purpose, it’s almost effortless. That’s how your gifting works.
Now this week major changes are coming. They’ve started already, I’m walking into something big. It makes me hold back tears, I can feel the queasiness mounting in my stomach that wants to delay it some more, a little longer it says, WAIT, the old me still trying to hold on, not wanting to let go of the habits and the mindset that held me in this space. The space where I now know that all it takes is a decision to let go, to walk forward in acceptance. Acceptance of what’s already yours, what’s already been written.
And you should damn well accept it, because this time you know you’ve earned it. You paid the price. You’ve learned from the losses, the failures, the glory and everything else. You’ve seen God break you down to pieces, so that you learn to depend on him and know that it is he who guides you and gives you everything you got, and at the same damn time knowing I AM. Now you’re walking in your power and mere mortals don’t understand you at all. But I paid the price to be the boss, in more than one way. Most people would’ve never made it through what I’ve been through. Nor would they have been willing to walk away from a good life of making money, to jump off a cliff into the unknown; with full belief that the parachute would perform perfectly to make your jump smooth… It’s funny, at first it’s scary as hell. You’re fighting and you’re flailing and you’re like yoooooo WTF is going on???!!!I don’t even curse, but this process though… Then one day you finally let go and surrender, and suddenly it all starts to smooth out, and you laugh at how long it took you to get it.
But like I was saying, your destiny has a price. You gotta pay the price for your destiny, and very seldom is that price money. The price for the walk on the cross to pursue your purpose is pain. Most people simply aren’t willing to go through the pain of change…
The pain of your life is training you up to walk in your purpose and live the life of your dreams. The dream is the guiding light like a worm on a hook. It’s planted in you as bait, to make you walk and do the work… Cause you grow to know that the dream is who you are. Nothing else will do. There is no point of pretending that less will do.
That means you can’t play victim to growing up poor, to abusive relationships, to the old storylines, to such and such did this and that to me… None of it matters anymore.
God will break you all the way down to let you know that he is real. I often talk alot of sh*t, and I’m hella confident, but only cause I was born for this. I was bred for this life. I was called for this. In my next season I will be fully prepared. I’ve been taught grace, I’ve been taught submission, I’ve been taught forgiveness. I’ve been taught how to live from my heart.
Even in love, I’ve been taught how it’s all a reflection of you to help you heal, and to appreciate those moments for what it was and how it inspired you to grow.
I think about the process I’ve been through over the past year and just my whole life, and unless you’ve been through your own journey you can’t understand how good it feels to reach the point where you feel like you are ENOUGH. Where you know you’re enough for the mission that God called you to walk on. Where you’re just walking it and you realize that nope, you have no idea where you’ll end up at, but in a way you know where you’re going, cause you’re a Prophetess and you can see your future and the future of others. And you’re a master manifester and you now know exactly how to get what you want, if you’ll simply stay disciplined to the new habits.