There are people in this world who have lived and loved, and there are people who have never loved because they are detached and claim happiness in their relationship.
For those who have truly loved, that gift of giving of yourself has grown you like no other. But the pain you had to undergo to get that growth, lets talk about that.
Have you ever had a hell of a breakup that feels like your whole life is draining out from you? Where you feel you’ve lost your entire soul and your best friend too. Where you can’t eat, you can’t sleep and going out to hang with people simply makes it worse? Where you feel pain coursing through the veins of your arms? All the while wondering, how could he destroy such a beautiful relationship? You thought you would be together forever. At least you wanted to….
Even worse, you have no desire to feel this pain of heartbreak. You throw yourself into work and “wait” for the pain to go away, to no avail. 6 months later you’re still in phucking pain, and uninterested in dating. Meanwhile the ex who just couldn’t seem to do right by you, is happily in a relationship with someone new. You look at the calendar like “Yo son, it wasn’t even 60 days since our breakup, before you hopped into bed with someone new!” Then suddenly you realize you were never fully loved. You don’t even want anyone to touch you. 12 months later you’re still in a kind of pain. But you don’t want your ex back. You can’t go back. Truth be told, although you were madly in love with them, you know you had to let go of them, and chose yourself.
Being smart enough to understand self-love and choosing to pick yourself first, means that you had the strength to break your own heart. Sometimes you even tried to get out of the relationship and let go before your heart got broken too bad. But of course it was too late.
Darkness comes because you’ve loved. The more you love, the more you suffer.
Now you’re walking through a sort of hell, trying to find your way out to the other side. Life starts coming at you fast. You start rapidly changing in ways you never even imagine. Heartbreak starts to show you how strong and amazing you are, and how beautiful the depths of your soul. As you heal you start to attract more beautiful souls who are a reflection of you. You even start attracting better men who are more aligned with you and appreciate the divine gifts you bring. And you break down crying all over again, wondering where have all of these people been all of your life? Like why couldn’t they have shown up years ago? WTF is wrong with the Universe? Why does it suddenly magically decide to bring you these beautiful souls only AFTER you’ve invested in yet another heartbreak?
At this point, you can’t seem to shake it, so you get used to pain, willingly or unwillingly because once your heart is broken, it will never be the same.
With this closing chapter, your ex moves on to cause more chaos in his unhealed, cheating life. Meanwhile you’ve changed so much, that now your standards have gone up. You start to have some gratitude for yourself and the magnificence of you as a brilliant, beautiful, loving, kind, human being. You keep changing and allow grace and peace into your life.
At this point you’ll never take your ex back. You can’t. You went through too much pain for them. They forced you to choose yourself over them, when they could’ve easily chosen your relationship and to do right by you.
Now you have doubts about people. Even though you’re open to love you notice red flags immediately. You are uninterested in anyone who shows up to show you dry love and dry effort. Even though you are heartbroken, you can never settle for less than love. You can’t. For you know that even the little bit of love you experienced was better than the lack of love that most romantic relationships seem to dwell in.
Instead you become grateful for your wonderful like. You pick up the pieces and know everything is working out for you. You are blessed. You are a powerful creator and you know that the next time you will get it right. You know now that you will find yet another ‘The One’ from God knows where. But you know he’s out there, somewhere. But you’re not the same person you’re better. You’ve grown closer to source. Your new mature view of love, knows that you matter more than Mr. so called Perfect. You will never again allow another man in your life who fakes it till he makes it, cause you know he’ll never make it, if he didn’t mold himself into a King well before he met you.
Even if you are in a relationship, you know when it’s time to leave him. You know it’s not going to work because he doesn’t respect you, and you can only pretend to be less than Queen for another 5-minutes before you explode. You know you deserve better. You love him, but to stay would be a crime against your soul. You’re not into settling for less than divine love. Now it’s time to open your heart and allow more energy to flow to you. You have a greater hope for a healthier relationship. Your ex could never get you back at this point. You don’t check their social media, you don’t even care. You already know they went back to doing the same things they’ve always done anyway. He’s out there living a basic life with a basic chick, and you are to go on and live your best life. Suddenly you wake up one day and you feel so free. You see life in a whole new way. You see how that relationship had your spirit condensed. It rocked you to sleep. It slowed you down and stopped you from birthing God’s purpose for your life.
Although you hate that you had to let go, your gut told you that he couldn’t make you happy. He was with the sh*ts and too many antics. You realized there was no point of trying to change him because that’s just the way he is. Silly you tried to turn a Prince into a King.
Now it’s as if you never even knew them, who caused you so much pain. But the once broken down and healed version of you now knows she can accomplish anything. This is the miraculous process of self-love and putting yourself first that comes from the bravery of loving someone who never loved you back.
All of this because you handled business and let go. You knew no one was coming to save you. You saved yourself.