He will never choose you if you do not choose you first

by | Love & Relationships

Yesterday I was talking to someone and they said “See, that is why you’re such and such years old and you’re still not married.” 🙄

I took the comment in. I said nothing. I simply noted how many women around the world feel that their worth and only validation in the world is to have a husband. 

LOL. I guess I could also panic like other women like “OMG. I’m single!” But nope! Trust God. I trust God enough to be okay with the dating break that I took. I learned A LOT, healed lots, and attracted men who nourish me. The person who said it to me has no idea of the caliber of men in my circumference, or that I’ve had two men wanting to marry me for months. 

Getting married is the easiest thing in the world to do. I could get married next week if I wanted to and have a man who will take care of me. It will secure another bag, but what about my heart? What about their heart? Yet many a woman finds herself married seeking social validation or rest from having to protect and provide for herself. LOVE is nowhere in the picture.

God equipped me something powerful and the ability to get my own bag. I will go for no less than love under any circumstances.  The only thing I identify with is pure love. 

So a few seconds later, I thought to myself “LOL. You will see. I will get my King. I will get my Dream Life. It’s already happening. I am getting everything I ever wanted.”  I came to earth to be love and experience an expansion of love. 

I also know my worth and my value. When I didn’t know my worth and value I wound up in an abusive relationship, that sent me down the wrong path, and so many other things, that only add to this story of mine that will someday play on the movie screen. 

Anyway, here is where you come in.  You’re a beautiful woman, a gifted soul, you’re warm, you’re loving, you’re kind, you’re giving, you’re super sexy, and you’re brilliant.  You seek to be the best wife in the world.  But when you finally meet “The Guy” you begin to question your own worth. Your start focusing more on him than you focus on yourself. You give into his every beck and whim because you want to please him and keep him. You want him to pick you.  

This is the experience most men give to women while dating.  They don’t give you with romance and fun. Sometimes they are playing games. Sometimes they are trying to get you to submit the best way they know how.  He wants you to like him for him. So such men mostly focus on themselves, and fail to provide romance for a woman.  Men lead… You want a man who leads you into a loving relationship where you’re actually important to him. Otherwise, at some point, after you’ve learned your lessons, faced your dark shadows, after being triggered over and over again,  and came to an understanding, you may want to opt out of that.  You focusing on a man who doesn’t honor and provide for you, takes up space that your King could have.

It’s important for a woman to know that your true King, your one true love, values you.  You are a prize to him. So when a man tries to make you feel like he’s the prize and anything he does for you is a burden on him, you’re going to feel heavy.  You’re going to feel pain.  You are going to realize that you are not being honored.  Most times it’s because you are not honoring yourself. 

Regardless, you can’t do anything with a man who doesn’t honor you. If you’re not his dream woman, even though he’s sooooo close, and he seems like he really could be the one, his mind, eyes, heart and spirit must honor you.  You’re going to be unable to fully submit until you meet such a man.

When a man isn’t fully honoring you, you gotta opt out. The dating stage is only for you to see if this man is going to protect, provide, nourish and honor you.  I want you to think about you. You’re going to be an amazing wife and do what it takes to keep your relationship beautiful. That part is covered.  What about you? What are your needs? What are your desires? How does a man treat you that makes you feel good inside? How much love are you pouring into yourself on a daily basis?

Anyway, watch the video below. I really like the first half of it. It says most of what I usually say.