Every man doesn’t want to be Kobe, Lebron or Jordan, some are just happy WATCHING the game

by | Love & Relationships

I used to think it was strange for men to sit in front of the tv obsessively watching sports, talking about and cheering for people that they would never meet.

Even more, while watching the game, why don’t they pick up any knowledge.

I’ve watched Beyonce most of her career, and you can just look at my personal branding and see that I peep game.  I wasn’t just out here singing lyrics. I was studying THE CRAFT in so many ways.

But back to these men.  Not every man wants to be Kobe, Lebron or Michael Jordan. Some men don’t even care if they get drafted into the league. Others are happy riding the bench, never actually getting in the game, and being able to collect a paycheck.

I used to think that men were lucky to get in the league when I was a young girl. It was so cool watching them get drafted and their dreams come true.  But they weren’t lucky. Those men decided.  Each player in the game decided at a different level.

Take Allen Iverson for example. He DECIDED to not just get in the league, but he decided to be great.  Iverson was one of my favorite basketball players ever.   But we’ll get back to that.

I’ve played basketball against some men, and took them to the hole and hit three pointers on them all day.  Of course they didn’t like it, but I gives no phucks. I am not taking it easy on any man. It’s not even about me being competitive. It’s about my heart. I came to win.   Some would say they let me win. But that wasn’t the truth. The truth is that I studied the game better than they did. I connected my energy with the ball.

For instance, my 3 point shot is ALL NET. WHY? Because I didn’t practice hitting the backboard. That’s not how Michael Jordan did it.  Jordan’s shot was SWISH, like Nike. That sound of SWISH is the sound of perfection.

Why did I practice playing basketball?  My grandmother asked me why I chose basketball, instead of doing something feminine like cheerleading.  Cheerleaders were dumb af back then and being cute simply wasn’t a challenge. It was too easy. Basketball on the other hand required practice in order to truly get good at it.

Anyway, there are a lot of men in the league.  Some of them are 7 ft tall and are still pretty much unknown. I’ve met a few ball players over the years, and most of them treat their personal lives the same way they treat basketball.  They really don’t practice to be the best.

Kobe, Lebron and Michael Jordan all practiced to be the best.  They didn’t want to be number 2 or 3. They definitely weren’t about to accept being a bench warmer. They continued practicing in order to maintain their position as the greatest.  Both Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan both retired at the top.  Lebron is still going strong.

What each of those men had in mind is LEGACY.  They had a great vision for their lives. Which is why they all have wives.

Iverson had a wife too, but he abused her. Nor was he willing to play by the leagues rules and show up for PRACTICE. Allen was so opposed to practice that we now have an entire legendary video about him not showing up for practice.

This happened 14-years ago.  That’s 14 years of less money, less legacy, and having to start settling for less, playing overseas.  Yet, you can’t take it away from Allen that he was one of the greats. But his lack of vision of a full legacy is what stopped him mid-way through.  His personal life was a mess and so were his business ethics. Allen didn’t quite understand that his legacy was his business.

We could also bring up Scottie Pippen and Charles Barkley right now and you will see how this all fits in.

But the most beautiful example of everyone in the league would have to be Steph Curry. Steph is loved, admired and respected by both men and women, because of his decisions he makes inside of his legacy.  He decided to press play and go full court in every area of life, including GOD.

I don’t even have to write extensively about him. You know who his wife is. You’ve seen his kids. You’ve probably even rooted for him at some point.


Every male fan that basketball players have aren’t watching the game for deeper understanding. Some are simply being left at the entertainment mark.  Some men love to be entertained as diversions from their real lives.

Some men love to be entertained and distracted so much that they spend most of their time playing NBA2K. Meanwhile their bank account is looking like a 9-5……

I have noticed that most brilliant men actually don’t even play video games.   The ones who do, tend to do it seldom and play games that challenge their mind to THINK and expand. But most men who do play video games, play for points.

That’s also how they date.  The more women they date, the more points they feel like they score. It goes over their head that the greatest scorers are the players with wives, who know how to dedicate themselves to their dreams and goals.

Some men grow up wanting to have a family and to be able to provide for a wife. They do what it takes to make it happen.  Other men grew up wanting to have LOTS of women, because that’s what the rap videos said was what’s up. Meanwhile Jeezy proposed to an asian woman. Obviously what he really wanted was real love. His rap lyrics were just that.

Just as much as the greats seek to hear the swish of the perfect ball execution as the orange ball comes off of the perfect curve and drops into the net, great men seek to connect with their woman just the same.

Other players prefer to have sex with as many cheerleaders as possible.  Cheerleaders are the side ornament of the game. They are there for entertainment, but not a necessity at all.

Many women, when dating, want a man to be the greatest of the greatest, and she is indeed being the greatest of the greatest, but gives her time and attention to a man who views her as a sideline cheerleader.

He’s not even smart enough to view her as a permanent, essential cheerleader like the greats view their wives.

When dating men, a woman has to understand his mindset and his value system.

Some men are happy just to have sex with you. To him that’s a slam dunk.  Other men are happy to say they dated you, and that you weren’t a big deal, like 50 Cent did to Vivica Fox, and broke her heart.

You want the dream of the empire and the legacy, but you chose a man who is only seeking entertainment. Therefore no matter how valuable you are, he won’t see you as such.

So many boss chicks try to take a man who is happy riding the bench, warming the seats, and getting a comfortable little paycheck, and turn him into a leader and a legacy man.  You can’t teach a man how to have heart. He has to have that drive and desire all on his own. The only thing you can do is compliment his swag and cheer for him.

bench warmers
Cheering isn’t dragging him to the car, dropping him off at the game, and telling him to go hard. Cheering is making sure he eats healthy meals, being kind to him, and making sure he’s prepared for his daily practice. Practice cause that’s what he wants to do, because he wants to be great. Not for you, but for himself.

Then you get to sit at the games, in the front row, cheering for bae. Meanwhile other chicks are up in the nosebleed seats, trying to be bff with their man who is happy just being entertained by your man’s greatness.

And were you with him while he’s was shooting shots in the gym? Nope. He didn’t need you for that. So stop trying to build bears Sis. Turn your internal self into the baddest of the baddest and attract a King who is looking for a Queen to enjoy his legacy with him.  A King has been working all of his life, in order to provide for you.  It’s part of his dream.  Stop dating like you’re still in college. If that man is 36, and hasn’t made it, he’s not going to the league, nor will his rap album suddenly be discovered.  Did you notice he is also missing charm?

You can’t date men with small dreams and think they are going to impress, maintain,  keep, or provide for you.

Like us life coaches. Some men feel like they’ll be at the top of that field. But in my lane, that’s such a small circle. It’s all about VISION.

Tell yourself the truth. You love great men. You like cheering for them. You like seeing them make grand sh*t happen.

Get a great man then Sis. Get one who wants to be at the top of the league, not just in the league.

ayesha steph curry