Marriage is a really hot topic in the world today. Chances are due to the way society is set up to make marriage the end all, be all, and the fact that the bible states it’s a wonderful idea to get married, the topic will always be a hot discussion.
As we enter into the second month of the last quarter of the decade, into a historical decade of year 2020, it’s being noted that marriage rates are down; especially in the black community.
The New York Times Reports:
“Sorry, guys, women are not saying “I do” because you’re not making enough dough. It’s even worse for African-Americans.
According to a new study by Cornell University professors cited by the National Council on Family Relation’s Journal of Marriage and Family, one reason marriage rates are down nationwide is because prospective husbands can’t provide enough financial security.
“One explanation for the declines in marriage is the putative shortage of economically attractive partners for unmarried women to marry,” according to the study conducted between 2012 and 2017.
The researchers compared the incomes of “potential” male spouses with those of men who married women of a similar demographic and found that guys who had not tied the knot earned 58% less than those who took a bride.“
This information is old news for many in the know. The bible clearly states when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing. He receives favor from the Lord. The trinity of marriage is blessed by God with abundance and prosperity. The law of increase is activated.
Through years of research, one thing I know for certain is that black men in general are not raised to value the union of marriage or women in general.
Even rap music is aimed at framing a black man’s mind to believe that love is not important and that quantity is more important than quality. The average black man will opt for multiple women and dysfunctional relationships, over building a family with one quality woman. Even when it comes to quality, what’s valuable to the average black man is a woman who isn’t highly intelligent, and will be down for him through thick and thin no matter what he does to her. His mindset is programmed to drag a woman through the mud first, so that she will prove her value. On top of that he also expects her to work just as hard as she does; yet he wants her to be feminine. This causes a huge problem and stagnation of potential empire creation.
So for the outstanding black women who are successful, attractive and educated, not only do they face a shortage of potential marriage partners due to being packed with so much value, but they are also not considered valuable to the average black man.
“In 1960, 72% of adults in the U.S. were married, according to Pew Research. While more adult couples are reportedly living together now, only 50% are married. That research indicated 54% of white adults were married, as opposed to black adults, who married at a rate of 30%. Asians were the group most likely to marry, with 61% of adults walking down the aisle.
According to the study published by the Journal of Marriage and Family last week, the nation’s lack of weddings is a matter of green.
“This study reveals large deficits in the supply of potential male spouses,” the study said. “One implication is that the unmarried may remain unmarried or marry less well‐suited partners.”
This study isn’t eye opening. It’s something I’ve always known, because personally I’ve never been married. I’ve turned down marriage proposals and walk away from men who were not willing to be the man God created them to be. I will also admit that that type of woman that I AM is not considered valuable to the average black man.
- She’s beautiful – The average man in general looks down on beauty. There is a connotation that beautiful women are evil, or that they have nothing to offer outside of that. Men often want to take out their frustrations with former women, on a beautiful woman. As Rihanna would say “Trying to fix your inner issues with a badd b*tch.”
- Men also have a habit of falling in love with the IDEA of a beautiful woman, but not being in love with the woman herself. Many a beautiful woman has never been fully loved by a man. Meanwhile chances are when he sets eyes on a basic looking chick, right away he’s focused on her inner. Men also are so used to a basic chick, that he doesn’t realize a beautiful woman won’t put up with the same behavior as a basic chick. A man absolutely can not treat a beautiful woman like she’s a basic chick and expect to get good results. It won’t feel right to her. She has to be valued for everything that she is, including her beauty. Meanwhile MANY men will say things like “I know women who are more beautiful.” or “Beauty isn’t everything.” Some men clearly display they have no value for a beautiful woman, while chasing one. That’s like a poor man saying money isn’t everything or that money isn’t important, then wondering why he’s not rich. Clearly he doesn’t value riches, so riches evade him. On the other end, a beautiful woman is expected to be dumb.
- She’s Too Smart – Intelligence isn’t valued, because it’s difficult for men in general to deal with a woman who is smarter than him. To get her to submit, a man has to really be on his p’s and q’s and know what he’s doing. Chances are she also won’t submit to a man who isn’t smarter than her. She requires that a man have great leadership skills or that he simply allows her to lead the majority of the relationship. It’s almost painful to the average black man to watch a woman’s brilliance unfold. He views female intelligence as masculine. To him a woman is more beautiful when she says very little and does not dominate a conversation. If she does, she is looked at as one of the boys; which is a turn off for him.
- She’s Successful – Men aren’t intimidated by a woman’s success. But a financially challenged man will worry if he can provide for a woman’s needs. He may abstain from highly successful women. Other men will attempt to compete with her, and chances are unless he’s just as high performing as she is, she will outdo him, because that’s what she does. However while it’s a competition to him, it’s not to her. She’s just doing her, and doesn’t feel she needs a man, because a real man has never played his role in her life.
- She loves God – Being a Christian woman is a no no warning sign to the average black man. Men feel like a majority of Christian women are sexually repressed, and that she has more value for God, than she has for her man. He has no interest in God being involved in his relationship.
- She’s Dominant – A majority of high performing black women are not into submission or servitude to her husband. She was never taught how to serve her husband. Men have taught her that her value lies in how much money she makes. Meanwhile most black men desire a submissive woman; which requires him to be the man he was called to be. Yet he rarely realizes that she remains dominant due to him not playing his part and pulling her into her feminine.
- She has High Self Esteem – High self-esteem is viewed as arrogant and cocky in a woman. Unfortunately a great deal of men in general are not taught to speak life and love to a woman. Alpha male dating techniques teach men right away to diss compliment a woman in order to lower her confidence. I remember once the rapper 2 Short touched my hair and told me that I had a “cute wig.” I also remember some random guy one time looking at my stomach and saying “Oh, you have a kid huh? I see your stretch marks. You’re cute though.” In my head I noted his tactic, and thought it to be silly.
As you can see, black women these days are transforming into powerhouses. Which is exactly the opposite of what most men are looking for. Therefore she attracts men who seek to use her. Once she catches on, she then raises her standards to men who provide. Chances are she may also not be interested in dating outside of her race. Now her options are very small. Now add on the fact that many black women also raise their standards to wanting an attractive man, not to mention she also values love over money, even though she makes her own money, so providing alone isn’t enough. She can provide for herself. She seeks a high value soulmate and refuses to settle for less. Now her options are even slimmer.
I watch a few black men who call themselves leaders, who teach other black men to not provide for their woman. I also know many black men who’ve been used up by a woman, because he didn’t pick a woman with a good heart, so he has now joined the ranks of the 50/50 men or expects a woman to be in masculine energy and chase him. Valuable women do not chase men.
So now you see the deeper reasons why relationships in the black community are so bad.
Meanwhile I live in the God & Goddess realm where we all know the rules. Each sex plays their proper role and benefits greatly. Not to mention a Goddess greatly adds to the pot as an added benefit of her mate.
What many men and women don’t get is that a woman wasn’t created to sustain anything. She was created just to be loved. So when a man expects a woman to pay half the bills, and a bunch of other things, he’s destroying her femininity. Which is why women have so many problems. She’s trying to work, pay half the bills, take care of the house, take care of her husband and the kids too. The average woman barely has time for herself, let alone time to nurture her man when he walks in the door.
A woman should never be forced to go to work. She should work because she feels like it, not because she has to. This is what God’s and Goddesses understand. (God’s pay bills, the rest are wannabes) A true Goddess will only deal with a man who provides for her. She also walks in her purpose, so she loves her work. Work doesn’t feel like work to her, so she enjoys it. She also understands that regardless of her work schedule or obligations, she still must cater to her man; and has no problem doing so. In fact she delights in it.
Other women find themselves stressed out over all of their obligations. A woman wasn’t created to carry stress. It’s overwhelming for a woman to stress about paying bills. Doing so also pulls her way too deep into masculine energy. Too many women are carrying loads they are not built to carry. So it’s no surprise many women are physically broken down and stressed out from trying to carry a man on her back and be strong for him. He’s supposed to carry her and be strong for her.
The average man will trample all over a woman and use up her energy, take her money, sexually use up her body, her time and her resources to build himself up, then leave her for a younger woman once he achieves his success goals.
Women know this so they ask for prenups. Other women get so tired of a man not providing that she goes and looks for a provider, without love attached… Gold diggers do this out the gate, and they faire better off than most women. Which all causes more destruction of relationships, cause none of the aforementioned behaviors makes for a lifelong relationship, nor a good marriage. They are all temporary from the jump. Every relationship isn’t meant to end. They end because people don’t tend to them properly.
Other women were raised without a good father, so she has no idea what a good man looks like or how she’s supposed to be treated by a man. She enters a range of 50/50 relationships that tend to never work out. Such a relationship does not move her forward. It actually takes from her usually doesn’t result in marriage. If you really look deeply, such relationships were based upon her providing sex, and financial contributions. Such a woman often doesn’t even know how to allow a man to take care of her or provide for her.
So much chaos is happening, and sometimes I’m like “Geesh. Am I the only one who notices this?” 🤷🏼♀️
Men are supposed to nourish women. In order to nourish a woman a man needs his finances to be right. Without doing so his focus will be off.
Now that we know the true dynamics of how a relationship should play out, it’s obvious that a lot of women are married, but what I’ve always known is that most of them settled for less. The smart women are the women who married the man of her dreams or she’s single, because she refuses to accept less. She also knows that marriage doesn’t define her and only a man who provides is a prize.
Every man needs to watch the video below.
But they won’t.
Because they love to take their relationship advice from men who are not successful in love or they listen to a basic woman with low expectations, then wonder why they aren’t highly successful. The average black man views men who are successful in love, as lames. They never seem to notice the great success of the man and note that he’s married.