FEAR is the main reason people settle for less in relationships

by | Love & Relationships

By the time we turn age 21, we are pretty sure of what we seek in a mate.  You want someone who is smart, has chemistry with you, sex is amazing, you have fun together, and build a life together.  You get into a relationship. It doesn’t work out. You do another, it doesn’t work out. You raise your standards and do another relationship and that one doesn’t work out either.  Then suddenly we learn boundaries, institute that, try to stick to them, get into another relationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Then we have the gray area for people who know what they want, but get confused when they fall for someone who isn’t willing to give them what they want. Mostly cause they didn’t stick with their boundaries. Otherwise this person wouldn’t be in their life and having their feelings entangled in the first place. 

They stick around hoping things will change. It doesn’t. They leave, they go back again. This time trying to accept the other person’s desires yet still hoping things will change.  They settle for good enough. They even hope good enough will work out, and most times that eventually falls apart too.

But before it does fall apart, lets explore the WHY people settle.  They settle out of fear. Fear that they won’t get what it is they desire. They fear being alone. They fear no one else will accept them.  They are too afraid to be patient and wait for what they want to come along. So they find themselves settling, pretending to be happy.

Even many spiritual people find themselves in this space. No matter how many books they read, no matter how much information they have, they still find themselves in a relationship that’s not their dream come true.

You will always get exactly what you desire no matter what. It’s only a matter of time.  Either you know this, you’re going to wait and get help to hold the belief and mindset or you’re going to cave to fear. 

We always have choices.