Are boundaries more important than empathy?

by | The Journey

A lot of relationship advice these days leaves people single, quick to cut someone off, in search of perfection.

Boundaries say “If this person does A. I’m going to cut them of. No discussion.”

But most of the time, perfection is only reached by having good communication skills.  I know now that people with good, healthy relationships, make it a habit of consciously relating on a daily basis.

I’m not for sure if people’s soulmate shows up and everything simply goes perfect.  My senses tell me that divine union is possibly someone you will easily connect with, but developing a deeper relationship will take effort.

We love to all say that we are fully healed and ready to be in a healthy relationship. Yet, I have yet to meet one perfect person.  So when it comes to disagreements, Sometimes people really have to be told “Hey. I don’t like that. That’s not cool.” Sometimes they don’t know.

But if you give them a second chance, and they do it again, then there you have to say that they are a waste of your time.

That all makes sense, until you reach conscious relationships. I believe at that point, sometimes people may not be aware of what they are doing, yet will gladly fix themselves once they become aware.

Also if you tell a wounded person something you don’t like, sometimes they will do exactly what you told them not to do, in order to push you away.  Because they feel like you are going to hurt them. Which means you’re probably doing something they don’t like which they may have attempted to discuss with you, or they may be keeping it to themselves.

So much goes on in people’s minds. I believe in relationships we have to gauge how much work we’re willing to put in, to get our desired result.

Relationship problems have to be swept into the heart, and then out into the mind. You solve such problems with your mind, by having empathy and seeing it through. But empaths, will keep making excuses. So they must learn how to put themselves and their desires first.

I don’t know what I’m really saying here. But dig deep. A diamond isn’t always polished when you first find it.