A 36-year-old client came to me, exhausted from chasing her husband’s love.
The divorce papers were already filed.
He had moved on with another woman.
And there she was ….. crying, broken, and stuck on repeat:
“HE did this… HE said that… HE left me…” It was He, He, He…
I let her get it all out.
Then, I asked her one simple question:
👉 “What is it that you really wanted from him?”
She wiped her tears and said:
💔 “I wanted him to love me… the way I loved him.”
And that’s when everything changed.
I helped her see the truth…that she had chosen this relationship, shown up in a certain way, and that the real work wasn’t about him. It was about her. Our work begun.
Fast forward a few months…
She transformed.
She butterflied. 🦋
Her energy shifted.
And guess what?
Her husband came crawling back, asking to cancel the divorce.
Because the NEW version of her, the one overflowing with deep self-love, was the woman he had always been searching for.
Here’s the truth, ladies… Instead of begging a man to love you, pour that love into yourself.
The problem isn’t him. It’s the reflection of your inner world.
A man cannot give you something you don’t already have within you.
Because if you truly loved yourself, you would have never chosen a man you had to beg for love in the first place.
When you love yourself unconditionally, your soul radiates a magnetic energy that pulls in a love that’s deep, soulful, and fully conscious.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
I saw a great article circulating this morning about women accepting the bare minimum from a man. As I was sharing the article on my personal page, I of course was going into a long spill that would’ve wound up a whole blog post, so here we are….
Currently I’m single. Noting that I’m a social media star who often uses my life lessons to teach others, it’s not surprising when people comment on my life, in judgement of me.
Many people often comment on the fact that I’m single. 100% of the time, those people are not millionaires. Millionaires who vibrate on my level already know why I’m single. If it’s a man he usually tries to shoot his shot.
Currently I’m going through a spiritual transformation and I’m doing a great deal of shedding from my past life. That’s not something the common person can identify with. Nor is it enjoyable to speak about the darkness that one must walk through in order to get to the light. But what I’m about to say next, you must take it into understanding and apply it to your own life. I’m single for 2 reasons.
1. My dream guy has yet to show up. I believe that love is a fairytale that truly happens. I believe in the beauty of it, I believe in deep soul connections. I believe in the smiles, the warm feelings, and the closeness and familiarity that two souls feel when they meet and wonder where has each other been their whole lives. That moment two people kiss, fall in love and then suddenly the whole world, and their journey of life makes sense.
Many men have shown up to pursue me. 5 Figure Men, 6 Figure men, and 7 Figure men too. They are Doctors, Lawyers, Motivational speakers, brilliant business owners, regular guys… Many men. They all see something deep within me that they know will change their life. But they don’t know what it is… They can’t quite identify with it. So they’ve each pursued me in the most basic manner possible. They show me the bare minimum. Behavior that they feel is impressive…
Most successful men are accustomed to women liking them and chasing them based upon their accolades. Many don’t know how to connect to the soul of a woman, because they’ve never had to. Their money and success speaks for them. These kind of men will do one small thing for you, and think they’ve given you the world. Meanwhile other men find their dream girl and set out to give her the world. Her happiness becomes an innate desire of his.
There is a certain trigger that alters a man when he meets the woman of his dreams. He pursues her relentlessly, until he gets her. He knows, like he knows, that’s the one he wants. He then becomes the man of her dreams, and the fairytale begins. This requires a great deal of ROMANCE. Romance is much apart of every Queen’s dream.
Many men aren’t aware of this. They are mostly focused on them and what’s outside of them… But the key to a woman is giving her want she wants. She will then submit to you…
WHAT DOES AN AMAZING WOMAN OR A QUEEN WANT?
A Queen wants a King. She desires a man who is way better than average. She wants a man who protects her and makes her feel safe. She wants to feel like she’s special to him. To make her feel this way a man must first and foremost provide for her. A Queen can never feel safe with a man who doesn’t provide. Even if she has her own, she has to feel like she’s doing it just because it makes her happy, not because she has to in order to survive in life. She wants a man who feeds her soul, both mentally and sexually. A Queen has to be fed in more than one way. Most men are simply used to being providers and covering that lane. But she needs more than that, because her deepest desire is real, deep love. Gold diggers just want a man who will provide. They don’t have any qualifications besides that.
This should be easy for men to understand, as how many do you hear say “Just being pretty isn’t good enough. You have to be more than that.” Men want a well-rounded woman who delights him physically, mentally, spiritually, sexually, and in the kitchen too. So why would he not realize that he has to be well-rounded too?
Relationships are all about giving and receiving. In order to get what you want from a woman you must pour into her. She’s like an empty box. Whatever you put into that box is what you will get back from her. Not only will you receive it back in abundance. As a woman multiplies everything you give her. If you give her hell, she will give you hell back multiplied. If you give her joy, she will give that same joy back to you over and over again.
Now when it comes to a Queen, she will only allow her dream man to fill up that box. So you have to figure out what her dreams are.. Start with the basics. Figure out what her current needs are, and fulfill them. That’s a great start. Then she will not be afraid to be vulnerable enough to open herself up and tell you the rest. You will then have the keys to unlock that woman… The thing is bad men tend to know this information, which is why they also tend to get all of the good women. They put in more work than the average man. They go hard in the paint from day one. For it’s a sport for him to unlock women, just to later break her down, or break her heart, just because he felt like it. He enjoys the power, and treats her the way he sees himself.
Queens are aware of the power transfer, and simply will only allow a King into their space. She already tried with the court jesters and got stung. There are different levels of Kings… Some men are the King of the hood. Others King of corporate America, and others are the King of their world… You have to be a King on her level… Her level is not the man who comes with the bare minimum nor the man who doesn’t respect her.
Now let me tell you about the women who aren’t aware.. Non aware women date men and accept the bare minimum from them. All a man has to do is say he likes her and that she’s pretty. Get her to grin and she’s in…just like that. She’s good with receiving mere crumbs.. They hit me up asking for free relationship advice, and say they can’t afford my consultation fee. (Dear Kissy letters are always fine. I’m speaking of 1 on 1 deep advice.) Not being able to afford my consultation fee is the first sign that they are in a bare minimum relationship. Either it’s not worth them investing in themselves to finally get the answers they’ve sought after years of pain, suffering, and not being whole-heartedly loved, because they don’t love themselves. Or they don’t feel like the relationship is worth it, because they don’t truly love themselves. Real love provides abundance. A woman glows like the sun when a man is treating her right. She’s capable of accomplishing amazing things when she’s being loved. Which is why I look at married women sideways when their finances are lacking. Yet a single boss chick is out in the world living her best life… (think) Sex with a man who truly loves you is some empowering sh*t! Lets just be honest.
Marriage is about building wealth. A wealth of love and growth together. Two people working as a team. Yet many find themselves in relationships with people who are playing on other teams. So lack rears it’s ugly head in the relationship.
Everything comes down to self-love. Often when we don’t have what we want it’s due to a lack of self-love and a lack of feeling worthy. People have a lot of healing to do.
But back to the Queens who desire an amazing King, yet don’t have one. Here are the more deeper reasons why you haven’t attracted that man into your life yet. At least one of these blocks applies to you.
You’re not vibrating love
You are vibrating lower than your worth
You don’t feel worthy or good enough
You believe you have to be perfect before you can receive unconditional love
You lack love for self
You’re emotionally hurting and suppressing it
There’s nothing to feel bad about. Life is a learning journey of discovering yourself.
For highly spiritual women I also know that part of your problem is that you are so swiftly evolving that you barely know who you are anymore. In the middle of that you have to forgive yourself for the past, forgive others who hurt you, let go of it all and give yourself permission to love yourself unconditionally. You must give yourself permission to live an abundant life filled with love, wellness and consciousness.
You must break down all of those walls that’s stopping true love from finding you. The moment you reach that point, your King will come.
So my reason #2 for being single is that I still have more work to do on my inner self. I vibrate beautifully with love. I give love. I give lots of love in abundance. My followers inbox me daily to tell me how much i’ve changed their life and how much they love me.
I must learn to receive that love. Too much humility is not a good thing… As a light worker you must know what it is that you do, and be accepting of yourself. You must start to receive that you are only getting back from people what you are putting out. It’s okay to know that you are a truly, deeply, beautiful person. You have to learn to love and accept your soul.
Love yourself for who you are. Love yourself for being the amazing person that you are.
Here are 2 of my favorite songs. Listen to them.
P.S. Ladies, don’t give up. It’s real. I know it’s real, cause I receive messages like the ones below from men all day, every day. These two are the ones I received today. I wake up to an abundance of love. 💜
A third man who adores me sent me this video today… It’s Deep!
And just incase that’s not enough. Here’s another song.
One of the hardest things in the world to do is walk away from a man you’re crazy in love with… You find yourself in a relationship with a man who is mostly kind to you, doting upon you, smart, hard-working, says he loves you and has so much POTENTIAL… So much potential that you can even see the King in him. You’ve spent years trying to get him to see it in himself. He needs a lot of attention from other women in order to make himself feel powerful. Therefore his antics put a strain on the relationship. You love him deeply… You’ve been patient, WAITING, HOPING & PRAYING he’ll change. 2-3 years have gone by. You haven’t done what you were supposed to, because you’re waiting on him………to change, to take your relationship more serious….to value you. So that, you can take over the world together, and build a legacy. You could even marry him if you wanted to, and commit yourself to a few more years of antics, and being slowed down, and not doing what you know you were called to do. How do I know you so well? Because I was once you.
This blog is dedicated to the amazing, beautiful, talented, spiritual women walking this earth who have no idea of how powerful and gifted they are, or why they keep seeming to attract bad men, no matter how kind and loving she is.
Sis, you have an aura, a light. It attracts narcissistic men who want to suck the life and joy out of you. They will break your heart and drain you for everything you are worth, because that is what they were born to do. They are energy vampires… Human leeches.
However the conversation we’re about to have describes both male and female narcissists.
TOP 5 NARCISSISTIC TRAITS
1.IMMENSE AFFECTION – The first thing a narcissist will do is immediately adorn you with lots of affection and attention. They will act like they can’t get enough of you. They actually can’t. You seem so pure and right to them. You’re like a breathe of fresh air, that they feel they simply can’t live without…in the beginning.
The physical attraction and sexual intensity between you two is so intense, that it causes you to ignore blatant red flags, that scream RUN, RUN FAST! It’s so intense, mixed with their attention that even if you want to run, you often can’t. Something pulls you to them so strong that your mind says NOOOOOO, but your body says “Phuck It. Come Phuck My Life Up. It’s Worth It.”
The passion is like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Moments with them seem like bliss. Makes you feel like everything is right and perfect in the world. They ask you to be in a relationship with them right away. If you try to say no and listen to your mind, they will become relentless in their pursuit, until you give in… Individuals who can see auras maintain that sexual energetic desire to be with you. It literally obfuscates mental and emotional energy — which is why lust is blind. Blind to the fact your soul has a destiny with this person and no matter how hard your mind fights and how your body almost seems to shut down in FEAR, that makes you feel like maybe you’re simply tripping and afraid to fall in love again… It’s the beginning of you confusing truth for fear…. Here is where you begin to doubt yourself and the things you thought you knew…
Now let’s move onto the life ruining stage.
2.HABITUAL LIAR – Everything is going great, cause you’re ignoring the red flags they literally told you about themselves in the beginning; cause you hear what you want to and think that maybe they didn’t mean those things that are completely against your beliefs. You develop this great sense of trust for them. You feel a comfort with them that you’ve never felt with anyone else. Suddenly, out of nowhere a BOOM happens. Thunder… A storm without the lightening. You find out they lied to you. And they way they lied to you is a total, complete violation of your boundaries that you don’t have at the time. You can’t believe this is happening to you. You feel like no one could possibly be that darn dumb to lie to you or disrespect you like that. Then here comes that lovely empathetic spirit of yours feeling sorry for them for being a liar. Because they made you feel like it was no big deal. They seem like such a cute, innocent little thing… Next thing you know you’re months and years on down the line and you’ve caught them in their 45th lie or gut punching antic… Believe who people show you they are the first time.
3. PROFESSIONAL DEFLECTOR – The entire time they were busy lying to you, persuading you, and making you feel special for their own selfish reasons, they blame you for everything that they do. They gaslight, and turn everything back on you. A narcissist can do no wrong. Meanwhile they are very engaging and sociable, as long as you’re fulfilling what they desire, and giving them all of your attention. If you give too little attention they will complain that you’re not thinking about them. Then when you give them attention they say you need to focus on yourself. Ahhhh, you’re starting to notice the craziness that you and your hormones completely ignored.
4. ENTITLEMENT – Narcissists often expect preferential treatment from others. They expect others to cater (often instantly) to their needs, without being considerate in return. The good ones will even woo you with gifts to throw you off. However, in their mindset, the world revolves around them, and 9/10 they aren’t really doing anything to solidify that. As they have no presidency or position to influence, impact or change the lives of the masses. However they do often suffer from delusions of grandeur. They don’t appreciate anything. In fact they think you’re supposed to do the things you do for them. They could be used to wearing Michael Kors watches but have no appreciation for the Gucci upgrade you gave him. Even though no one before you ever treated them as nice.
5. EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION – Many narcissists enjoy spreading and arousing negative emotions to gain attention, feel powerful, and keep you insecure and off-balance. In fact you could be a perfectly healthy, secure human being, but a narcissist will mess with you so much, and the minute you take up for self or question something they will say you’re insecure. This puts them in a position of power.
They are easily upset at any real or perceived slights or inattentiveness. They may throw a tantrum if you disagree with their views, or fail to meet their expectations. They are extremely sensitive to criticism, and typically respond with a heated argument (fight) or cold detachment (flight). On the other hand, narcissists are often quick to judge, criticize, ridicule, and blame you. Some narcissists are emotionally abusive. By making you feel inferior, they boost their fragile ego, and feel better about themselves. When the relationship finally crashes, they’ll be in a new relationship and in love with the next person within a month. If you’re not careful, you’ll hurt, become depressed, cry, and things may fall apart in your life. This is when you have to fight with all of your might to be happy. Understand it’s over. They came to awaken you. Don’t let it destroy you. Move forward. Don’t worry about why or how it possibly happened. Just know that it works for your highest good and God is going to bring you someone much better.
SUMMARY
I hope you’ve found this article informative, thoroughly entertaining and programmed enough sense into your head to never date another person who fails to appreciate you.
For spiritual souls you will meet a narcissist as a test. They will devalue you, intentionally cross your boundaries time and time again; have you miserable, trying to find your happy place again, and living below your standards. And you’ll be madly in love the whole time… At some point you may have a spiritual awakening. Their mistreatment of you caused it. Life said it’s time to admit what you really want. You got caught up with a narcissist and tried to settle for less… While the whole time they were trying to make you feel like you were the lesser one… So much insanity.
Now when that awakening hits, you get 2 options. You can choose to love them and continue to attempt to cater to them, and bend for them, as they get worse and worse, or you can choose to let that pain hit you like a ton of bricks, as you choose to walk into the light, love yourself more than you love him, heal and pursue your PURPOSE.
Option one will make you weaker
Option two will give you super powers.
Do you want super powers? Cause I know you FEEL me. Or do you want to stay and get weaker?
The choice is yours. If you would like help making this important decision, or healing from such a relationship, I’m here for you. MESSAGE ME here to book a relationship consultation. (My consultations are paid, if you want to truly stop the pattern you must invest in yourself, or wait till I write a blog about it.) Yes! This is really happening to you… All I can tell you is that it gets greater later. Love You.
