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I haven’t blogged in about a week, even though I have a lot to talk about. Sometimes I feel like I’m just rambling and maybe people don’t actually need to hear the things I have to say.  But that’s just me being in my head. Which is why you can’t always live in your head.  Your mission is here on earth. 

Anyway, the past 2 weeks have caused a great shift in my life. I’ve gained mass clarity and things about people in my life have been revealed to me. I see things with such clarity, and realize it is my heart that often blocks me from seeing people as they are, as they are truly presenting themselves to me. 

For my male friends I realize I’ve had way too much mercy on the men in my life. Mostly because I’m a boss chick and love to do my own thing.  I’ve had men do lots for me, but me not wanting to ever be a burden to anyone or cause anyone to give me more than what they have or more than they want to give, is sort of, kind of, a receiving problem. 

You see when you are determined to see and perceive things one way, it’s stops you from receiving information with clairvoyance.  The same sentence can be said to 5 different people and 5 different people may view the sentence differently.  People view what is said based upon their own thoughts and beliefs. 

Especially if something isn’t said with definite certainty.  In the past a person could say something to me, and my mind usually goes 3 layers deep to try to empathize with and understand that person.

I often look at people as being deeper than they are.  Then they’ll remind me that whatever they said wasn’t that deep. And it’s like “Oh, it’s not? Okay.”  Then I have to come back up three layers to say “Okay. It is what it is.”

Then I look at the cards that are laid out on the table exactly as they are, and not as I would like them to. Then I have to tell my mind, that I have to play them properly. I have to operate logic over emotions. 

As an intuitive person and an empath, I often live in my head. In my head people generally tend to be good people, and there is always a good reason for why they do the things they do. I constantly put myself in other people’s shoes. Which is good for my clients. But not so good for the opposite sex. 

I literally have been adjusting my beliefs about people, in order to see them as perfect.  Meanwhile other people can see they are not perfect just as plain as day. Sometimes I give people too much love, to which they are not due. Everyone deserves to be loved, but every man definitely does not deserve the level of love to which I am known to deliver. 

When they are not deserving of it, I have noticed that my spirit will somehow pop the truth right in front of my face, when I’m not even looking for it. I could say the revelation comes as a total shock, but it doesn’t. Cause there were always those doubts, that were not being drowned out by them, but instead by me. The doubts were drowned out by my own empathetic traits.

Therefore people have had to work 10 times less in order to prove themselves, because I do all of the work for them, inside my mind.

Then in the end, when my spirit guides finally awaken me to the person, I realize I’ve been seeing them as perfect, whole and complete, and like a human, meanwhile they really can’t see me, and perceive me to be a lot less than I AM. 

Now I went this long way of explaining this to you, so that you’ll understand exactly how other people’s behavior and the way people treat you, are only a reflection of the way you treat yourself. 

My own good heart, once stopped me from treating myself at the level that I AM at. If that makes any sense.  I’ve in many ways allowed society to rock me to sleep and humble myself in ways I should not. 

If you say you’re something. You gotta be that something. Because if you be any less than that, people are going to treat you as less than that. 

What caused this behavior was my awakening. I tried to be better than I once was. I became nicer.  Nicer is good. But my boundaries were not high enough.  Us good-hearted souls must institute sky high boundaries, not just for others, but to protect ourselves from ourselves.  If we don’t, we will only make excuses for people’s behavior towards us.

Us empaths are good for over empathizing and fixing situations in our head. Like I said, we don’t even make people work to prove themselves to us. We are quick to open up, quick to share, quick to give love, and quick to see people at their best and highest good. 

Our hearts and minds live in the 5D realm. We forget that we are here on earth in the 3D realm.  Even others who operate in 4D, and their vision is still not at a full 100% like ours is. Most are still trying to find their way in the dark. Meanwhile we already see the path lit up and are walking it.

So what I have to do now, is teach myself to stop putting other people’s wants and desires first. I have to put my own wants and desires first. What do I want? How do I want this to go? How do I want to be treated? How do I expect to be treated? I literally have to train myself to deeply make things about me, and stop always considering the whole round and spectrum of what other people want.  I have to teach myself a little selfishness. Not too much, because balance is good, and I still want to maintain my good heart and ensuring every transaction is beneficial to all parties involved. 

When it comes to me, I’m the celebrity party. I’m the person who will rise to the top. I’m also the perfect with the brilliant mind and the beautiful spirit that stays connected to source. It benefits people greatly to be able to mention that they know me. It benefits people to simply bask in my presence. It makes them happy. It benefits people greatly if I allow them into my life, because I am connected to source, and a brilliant vortex of love. Therefore I’m going to daily send them warm vibes of love, wish prosperity on people and see them at their highest self, which blesses them with excelled success. I am gifted and anointed. I am a Prophetess and a chosen one.

Now, I just said all of that, and what does something in my system want to do? Deny it, tell myself I’m not really all of those things. Tell myself to calm down, to hold back and that maybe those things are not true. But this time I can’t do that. WHY?  

Because:

1. I now know the cost of lying to myself and trying to humble myself.  I know that trying to be less or be beneath people so that they will feel better about themselves, does indeed make people feel better about themselves, so I’m walking in my purpose. BUT, however, it causes people to be asleep as to who I AM.  They are only going by what I show them. They don’t have the vision of clairvoyance or prophecy like I do. They are not me.

2. I was forced to look back at my track record and see how people benefit from being in my life. I change lives of all whom I bring into my circle. I inspire people who have never even met me. My words inspire them.

So the lessons here are:

  1. Believe who people tell you they are the first time.
  2. Understand that even though you may value yourself, God may want you to value yourself even more than you do. You can not do your mission if you don’t understand your inherent value and act accordingly.
  3. If you’re a woman I have found that either a man goes hard for you, or you don’t give him your love and companionship. That’s it. That’s all. When a man wants a woman he’s going to go hard. Anything else is just him feeling confused, cause you’re not necessarily the one. When he finds the one he moves on it. When he’s not, he stalls. Another man may want you, but when he’s not gifting you by actually going out to buy you gifts, chances are, he’s not that into you. Men who are really into a woman think about her when he’s out and about and throughout the day. Not just at night… 
  4. Phuck humbling yourself. It’s a losing game. I’ve noticed that some people are so full of themselves, yet they aren’t even all of that. But they will think they are all of that if your royal highness allows herself to be around them.  Some people are clout chasers. Such people rarely ever can see the depth of people. Because they don’t function at a soul level. 
  5. More about humility… When I was around people who couldn’t see me for who I truly am. I thought it to be no big deal. NOPE! That’s a clear sign that they are not your tribe. But because you can see them, you may dismiss it.  If they can’t see you too, they are not for you. People who can’t see you, help you to go longer without seeing your highest self. People who can see you, speak life and love into you. They pull you up and tell you to go further. They propel you. They give you clarity on what’s going on in your life and the people around you. They actually want the best for you, so therefore they can see things in a way that is best for you. When people don’t operate from their hearts towards you, they can’t truly feed into you.
  6. Be honest with yourself about how amazing you are. It is what it is.
  7. When you feel some kind of way about a person, and you keep trying to dismiss it, you’ll later be told why you had that feeling. Take heed to “feeling” some kind of way about people. Don’t always have a need to correct your feeling to make it feel better or correct. Sometimes it is what it is. If you feel gross about a person, it’s because they are. Simple as that. Don’t wait on more evidence to back it up.

So I guess I just had my awakening from my awakening. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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